tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post2044300942957318580..comments2023-10-17T05:01:42.650-04:00Comments on Abandoning Eden: ex-vasionAbandoning Edenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696116071749613265noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-57801096733018877632008-06-12T17:14:00.000-04:002008-06-12T17:14:00.000-04:00"abandoning eden said... having my ability to trus..."abandoning eden said... <BR/>having my ability to trust people damaged by someone who I trusted compeltely betraying that trust is not the same thing as an 'obsession'."<BR/><BR/>Whatever you call it. It is not good. That's the point. I will take it that you apologized and I accept also. I hadn't immediately read your post so that is why I still posted angrily. I got no pleasure from it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-713833735957054502008-06-12T16:26:00.000-04:002008-06-12T16:26:00.000-04:00Look I never wrote in a way until in response to y...Look I never wrote in a way until in response to you today in way that should have pissed you off except if you didn't lioke the advice because it involved seeing things in ways you felt too uncomfortable to. I was always writing in a positive and gentle style. The truth is if you saw a therapist do you think you would be told what you want to hear, that you are always right and your parents always wrong? I happen to be a very bright fellow and sympathetic. I can give very good advice. If you don't want it fine but I won't apologize for trying to be helpful and I won't worry if you characterize it as patronizing. Who cares. If it's good advice fine, if not not. There is no objective reason to call it patronizing. It is simply my opinion with no aspertions. If it would be patronizing fine. So I was patronizing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-46528197652527040942008-06-12T15:29:00.000-04:002008-06-12T15:29:00.000-04:00If I wasn't rtrying to help I wouldn't have commen...If I wasn't rtrying to help I wouldn't have commented. I don't try to attack on personal issues. You didn't like what I had to say. But it would have been nice to appreciate why I say what i say. You can choose to ignore what i have to say and continue to live with blame and angerr for the rest of your life or not. in any event your parents should live to 120 but your 120 will still be beyond theres. i don't want to argue with you or call you names. I got no enjoyment from it only venting off anger which is temporary on my part in any event.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-50225664165677282362008-06-12T15:24:00.000-04:002008-06-12T15:24:00.000-04:00"abandoning eden said... having my ability to trus..."abandoning eden said... <BR/>having my ability to trust people damaged by someone who I trusted compeltely betraying that trust is not the same thing as an 'obsession'. <BR/><BR/>I don't feel as if your opinions are very constructive. Sometimes yes, but mostly I just get pissed off after reading them. Maybe there's actually a reason I get pissed off every time I read any one of your comments? Yes, it's possible that I just hate critism. But maybe it's ALSO the way you give it. Maybe you should examine your own tone. You frequently come off as patronizing, and not just in this post. Is there maybe a tiny possibility that your comments come off in a tone you don't intend? Or that you do intend your posts the way you write them, and other people might find them patronizing? Or is that outside of the realm of possibilities?"<BR/><BR/>It really should not sound patronizing. I only can imagine it if someone else is talking patronizingly as a know it all or is being nasty. In any event it is irrelevant. If you get pissed off from what I say it hardly would be because of patronizingness. rather it would be because you don't agree. What you see as patronizing is merely years of experience on my end. My parents are dead. And so i have some experience in seeing the fleetingness of life and what's really important. You are comming at it from the learning end. From your perspective your parents are there for who knows how long and they can be your punching bags or whatever forever or so.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-54481781772224110402008-06-12T15:18:00.000-04:002008-06-12T15:18:00.000-04:00Sorry I didn't see your comment.Sorry I didn't see your comment.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-16013406114817761462008-06-12T15:12:00.000-04:002008-06-12T15:12:00.000-04:00having my ability to trust people damaged by someo...having my ability to trust people damaged by someone who I trusted compeltely betraying that trust is not the same thing as an 'obsession'. <BR/><BR/>I don't feel as if your opinions are very constructive. Sometimes yes, but mostly I just get pissed off after reading them. Maybe there's actually a reason I get pissed off every time I read any one of your comments? Yes, it's possible that I just hate critism. But maybe it's ALSO the way you give it. Maybe you should examine your own tone. You frequently come off as patronizing, and not just in this post. Is there maybe a tiny possibility that your comments come off in a tone you don't intend? Or that you do intend your posts the way you write them, and other people might find them patronizing? Or is that outside of the realm of possibilities?Abandoning Edenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12696116071749613265noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-12292870546047247842008-06-12T14:55:00.000-04:002008-06-12T14:55:00.000-04:00First you write:"For instance, there's a reason I'...First you write:"For instance, there's a reason I'm not making a big deal out of the fact that me and B are planning on getting married. And that reason is there is no way in hell I'm going through the pain of telling a bunch of people I'm not getting married AGAIN if this engagement also goes south. That's also why me and B are getting married at city hall, cause there's also no way in hell I'm going through planning a wedding again."<BR/><BR/>And then you write as if there was nothing affected as far as B by getting off topic and attacking me personally. Did I write about a big wedding? No I didn't. You were using childish tactics. If that's patronizing to say, no duh!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-79504626900061520062008-06-12T14:48:00.000-04:002008-06-12T14:48:00.000-04:00I've given you positive feedback.I wasn't telling ...I've given you positive feedback.<BR/>I wasn't telling you how you should feel. Nor was I being patronizing. If you talk about problems then I can either tell you only that you are right which won't help you or I can tell you things you can do to improve things. As for your obsesion yes it is an obsesion. You said you have a lack of trust yet. As for your wedding plans I wasn't saying it should be big or small but you mentioned about how you are doing things because of what happened the first time around. If anyone's giving bullshit its you. You write about how things affected you negatively. Rather than address comments you ascribed motives to me and yet have the nerve to tell me I'm telling you how you feel. By doing that you think you don't have to address issues. I've been polite to you and even supportive and trying to give you constructive opinion and you give me your stupid childish rants.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-1060012427081299862008-06-12T14:19:00.000-04:002008-06-12T14:19:00.000-04:00rg- you know what I love? How you always seem to ...rg- you know what I love? How you always seem to tell me what I SHOULD be doing how I SHOULD be feeling, or better yet, telling me what I AM feeling! You come off as very patronizing, and frankly, nothing you post is ever a positive contribution...instead you seem intent on pointing out what's wrong with me for feeling the way I do, and how I should be feeling instead. <BR/><BR/>This morning someone posted something about my ex somewhere else, which reminded me that I am seeing him in a week. yes, I still have anger over how we broke up. I don't actively sit around hating him, but when somethign reminds him that I'm seeing him in a week, it reminds me of said anger. That hardly counts as an 'obsession'.<BR/><BR/>Not having a big wedding celebration is not only because of my ex. Yes, he left me, and that sucked, and that is part of the reason I don't want to bother again. But planning that wedding left me with a lot of other feelings. Like that planning weddings sucks ass. Also, that I'm not really into big pagentry symbolic bullshit with me in the spotlight. I'd rather spend the money on an awesome trip to Rome with me and B. Or a cruise around the galapagos. Finally, why have a big wedding when no one from my family will be there? So it'll be like him and his parents and sister and maybe 10 of our close friends...hardly seems worth the expense and time involved for a wedding that'll have 20 people at it, tops. <BR/><BR/>Finally, you seem to have a lot to say. Why not start your own blog, where you can spew out your patronizing bullshit about everyone else's lives to your hearts content?Abandoning Edenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12696116071749613265noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-65347995226953596392008-06-12T13:52:00.000-04:002008-06-12T13:52:00.000-04:00I don't know what to say. You should be having tru...I don't know what to say. You should be having trust in B and instead you put up a barrier to any kind of wedding celebration beyond perhaps barebones based on the possibility he would dump you which is a risk all who get married take. Headwise I would say to wait to get married to have issues resolved including this obsession with how you broke up with your exfiance, but with love the head is not the only department. In any event you have so many anger issues and it's not healthy or conducive to objectivity.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-53755265522252145332008-06-12T11:55:00.000-04:002008-06-12T11:55:00.000-04:00No reason whatsoever to avoid it! Hold your head h...No reason whatsoever to avoid it! Hold your head high and proud.Aunt Beckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12146687582842259611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-78665322646340349212008-06-12T10:47:00.000-04:002008-06-12T10:47:00.000-04:00They did help with wedding canceling things (since...They did help with wedding canceling things (since they had paid for most of it in the first place), with annoyingly in-my-face daily updates. But the gift returning and check writing was all me.Abandoning Edenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12696116071749613265noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-87422759473330390862008-06-12T10:18:00.000-04:002008-06-12T10:18:00.000-04:00Didn't your parents help (take over) all the weddi...Didn't your parents help (take over) all the wedding cancelling things and check writings and etc? I'd think that since they never liked him to begin with, they'd be more than happy to rush to unmake all the wedding preps and erase him from their lives.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-7270401323313692092008-06-12T09:35:00.000-04:002008-06-12T09:35:00.000-04:00I've seen him in the flash plenty of times since w...I've seen him in the flash plenty of times since we broke up...especially in the year after we broke up, and at 2 fests since. Honestly, I think seeing him and hanging out with him in person went a long way towards getting over our relationship, and being in love with him, etc, as when years later I saw him and realized that we WERE terrible for each other, and how he hasn't changed in all those years, while I have changed drastically.<BR/><BR/>Not sure how long it's going to take to 'get over' the break up though. That may have caused permanent damage.Abandoning Edenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12696116071749613265noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-68967746022916490422008-06-12T09:26:00.000-04:002008-06-12T09:26:00.000-04:00You know, I think that being around him will help ...You know, I think that being around him will help with this whole process that you may not quite be over with. Honestly. Seeing him in the flesh will erase a lot of stuff in your head. <BR/>Try to think of it that way. <BR/>But I can understand why you're pissed.Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.com