tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post617726197655027748..comments2023-10-17T05:01:42.650-04:00Comments on Abandoning Eden: Talked to dadAbandoning Edenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696116071749613265noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-12902330258583683242008-10-01T17:03:00.000-04:002008-10-01T17:03:00.000-04:00Hi AE,Shana Tova from Europe, were Rosh hashana is...Hi AE,<BR/><BR/>Shana Tova from Europe, were Rosh hashana is already finished.<BR/><BR/>So I was glad to visit your blog and find new postings.<BR/><BR/>Sometimes I think a bit about you, and I come to the conclusion:<BR/><BR/>1) I do not agree that you have no "religious gene". It might be that Judaism and Halacha does not suit you. But from what you write, I get the impression, that you are very idealistic and honest, perhaps too honest and idealistic for the reality of religion as you encountered it in your youth. But you have to have a "religious gene" in the sense that you stand by your convictions no matter what and that you prefer honesty over hypocrisy.<BR/><BR/>2) I sometimes think that you would stick up very strongly for your jewish identity in times of crisis or persecution.<BR/><BR/>3) So perhaps you are really the "better Jew", but in times of peace and quiet, your very honest, very selfless energy is directed against your family and not against "the enemy", because there is no enemy at hand.<BR/><BR/>I hope I did not offend you, since what I said was meant as praise. I wish you and all those you care for Shana tova u metuka.<BR/>shoshAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-24580532491920689992008-09-29T17:01:00.000-04:002008-09-29T17:01:00.000-04:00Nah, it wasn't the Catholicism (it was more the at...Nah, it wasn't the Catholicism (it was more the attempted suicide and a general question mark as to his level of stability). But, hey, that's just an impression, and, as you say, your dad doesn't know about any of this (presumably), so, no doubt, you are correct, and his objection is limited to religion.<BR/><BR/>I don't mean to take your father's side. I just think it's a shame for the two of you to lose each other. Husbands come and go; you only get one father.<BR/><BR/>Good luck with all this. And I really mean that.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15752938979399977997noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-26249084267855990162008-09-29T15:35:00.000-04:002008-09-29T15:35:00.000-04:00just curious- what about my fiances blog made you ...just curious- what about my fiances blog made you see my dad's perspective? That he was raised catholic? If it's something else, then my dad doesn't know about it- since my dad knows nothing about B in general.Abandoning Edenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12696116071749613265noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-62962716660636035362008-09-29T13:55:00.000-04:002008-09-29T13:55:00.000-04:00"Meanwhile, his religion says he should be asking ..."Meanwhile, his religion says he should be asking people for forgiveness around now, while mine doesn't."<BR/><BR/>True enough, and (believe me) I'm not pushing his religion on you. That said, it's a two way street. You can never make him apologize for the ways he's hurt you, but you might also recognize that, intentionally or otherwise, you've probably wreaked your fair share of havoc on him.<BR/><BR/>Also, he's your father. He's entitled to a bit of deference from you. (As an aside, if you want to completely reject him, you probably owe it to yourself to reject his money, too, don't you?)<BR/><BR/>Finally, in your latest post, you seem to show a modicum of understanding for your mother which you withhold from your father. Perhaps you could at least express regret for having hurt your father (again, accepting that it was not your intention) before expecting him to apologize for not having accepted the decision that hurt him. You did cause the first injury, didn't you?<BR/><BR/>I'm pretty sure he wants what he believes is best for you. He may be wrong as to his assessment, but (having read your fiance's blog), I can tell you that, religion or no, I can certainly see your dad's perspective on the marriage issue.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15752938979399977997noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-27048695063343093792008-09-29T10:26:00.000-04:002008-09-29T10:26:00.000-04:00of course it's something we have in common. Meanw...of course it's something we have in common. Meanwhile, his religion says he should be asking people for forgiveness around now, while mine doesn't. <BR/><BR/>It wasn't $500, but he said he is mailing it out.Abandoning Edenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12696116071749613265noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552682727548828725.post-61651795131563673072008-09-29T09:56:00.000-04:002008-09-29T09:56:00.000-04:00"He didn't ask for any forgiveness."I'm guessing y..."He didn't ask for any forgiveness."<BR/><BR/>I'm guessing you didn't either. Ever think that the two of you might have something in common? (For starters, the unshakeable belief that you couldn't possibly be wrong.)<BR/>By the way-- did he come through with the $500?Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15752938979399977997noreply@blogger.com