To a music festival for the weekend. Judah, if you're reading this, you should totally come dude...it's only like an hour and a half drive from where you live, and it's the last fest I'll be at all summer.
Everyone else, feel free to continue debating how I should or should not write emails to my parents in my absence. And how they will or will not react to said emails. I don't think I even have to be around for those debates anyways. :)
Oh and on that note- my dad wrote back to that last email, and apologized for mentioning stuff about marriage, saying he didn't mean to hurt me, etc. So maybe, just possibly, I know how my parents react to things better than other people do? Even people who may know them in person, but don't REALLY know them that well? (since my parents always acted all weird and different in front of my friends anyways?)
Also: I mailed out 3 of 6 job applications yesterday. It cost me $20 just for 3 applications! (1 of which had a big heavy teaching portfolio, so cost like $11 for just that application). When I get back next week maybe I'll send out the other 3 so I don't have that hanging over my head anymore.
My sister is in from israel, and we're having a big family shobbat thing, so i can't make it!!!
ReplyDeleteI know, i suck :)
"So maybe, just possibly, I know how my parents react to things better than other people do? Even people who may know them in person, but don't REALLY know them that well?"
ReplyDeletehmm... I wonder who this is directed at? :) I really hope your parents prove me wrong, AE. My intentions for my comments are to make sure you are aware of the worst case scenarios, and that there is a good possibility ( i don't want to say 'statistically' because i know u will destroy me! so call it based on my observations of orthodox treatment and outlook on intermarriage) that this will happen.
Just be careful of being deceived. Just because your dad apologized to you for huting you when he metioned marraige, it doesn't mean he anywhere closer to accepting you or your decisions. Has he even inquired about B ever? and has the sitution with your mother changed at all?
Still, an apology is something. It shows some sort of humility.
I would like to be wrong. It would mean you could maintain a real relationship with your family while staying close to B. Time will tell.
Well, I'm glad you're doing something fun this weekend.
ReplyDeleteIf the debate goes on while you're gone (I don't think it will - it needs 'fuel' from you - new information/descriptions of outragous acts by the parents - to keep it going), we're going to have to get the comment section of your blog its own zip code.
Have a great time.
Have a great time this weekend!
ReplyDeleteI am glad you heard from your dad. It is a first step, keeping that communication going. Even if it is not all sweetness and light all the time. If I might make a suggestion, when you write or speak with them, do not ever say anything you cannot take back. When I am disagreeing with my parents, I avoid like a plague the words "always" and "never".
You always talk over me...
You never listen to me...
things like that.
I posted a comment on the other entry. I would like to continue the conversation AE. I really feel like your relationship can be saved, as long as you can be deeply honest about how you feel and what you want.
I asked an atheist friend how he handles his parents. He told his father finally, with a smile,
"Dad, enough already. God knows I don't believe in him. He doesn't need a lawyer!"
Take care and enjoy! Good music and good friends!
Even though your parents don't like your choices, this proves that they're not out to hurt you.
ReplyDeleteWell, if you go to a public forum to discuss these kinds of issues, it is normal that people who know neither you, nor your parents answer...
ReplyDeleteIf you didn't want it, you wouldn't write a blog, ain't I right???????
Perhaps it's the same as with a psychologist: You go to see him, tell him your story (how badly your parents hurt you)... he will support you (how could they?).
If your parents go to the same psychologist and tell him how badly their daughter behanves, he will also support them (how could she).
If your father started a blog now "how my awful daughter eloped with a goy", perhaps we would also support him.
It's very difficult to know the truth from a subjective report.
Perhaps it's possible to read sometimes between the lines, but not everything becomes clear.
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