It's kinda surreal to talk to my mom, who is so deep in denial that she has created an imaginary world in which I'm not getting married. We just had the following conversation: (tenuous connection to reality part in bold)
*blah blah stuff about job interview, got to talking about the housing market near where my parents live*
mom: Yeah the housing market is really bad, but I think it's going to get to it's lowest point next year and then start going up after that
me: well that's great, cause I'm planning on buying a house next year or the year after!
mom: well banks aren't giving out mortgages as much, and you need to have money in savings to have a big downpayment
me: well between the two of us we have close to $XX,XXX in savings...
Mom: Nah you don't want to buy a house. You should get a condo! That would really be better for you and what you need
Me: Yeah but I want a house- I'm probably going to have kids in a few years, and arn't condo's usually apartments? I want a place that I can keep for a bunch of years that has enough room for kids
Mom: Yeah you don't want a house, you want a condo. How are you going to take care of a house all by yourself? What are you going to, go out and mow the lawn by yourself?
me: [suppressing comments about gender roles]: But I'm not going to be living by myself, I'm going to have a husband, remember?
mom: whatever, we can't talk about that
me: Well...he's still going to be around..
mom: well we can't talk about that stuff, because then there's just bad feelings and we shouldn't talk about that
me: well, I get bad feelings when we DON'T talk about him. Plus is it really a good idea to just deny reality like that?
mom: well it's not denying reality, I just don't want to talk about it. if you want to talk to me then you can't talk about him ever
mom: well I have to go put some clothes in the dryer, have a good night, bye
Over the past two months I've talked to my mom on the phone 3 times. The first was right before rosh hashana- I called her to wish her a happy rosh hashana. I deliberately called her while I was walking to my class, so that I could only talk to her for a few minutes. This was after several months of not calling or talking to her at all (the last time before being when I called to say I was engaged).
I talked to her for all of 3 minutes that first time, didn't mention B, and at the end she was like "Well, I'm really happy you called, it was good to hear from you."
So of course that immediately sent me into fantasies, whereas since she said she was happy I called that means one day she would accept me and B. Since she didn't hate me enough to not pick up the phone.
See how I just set myself up for disappointment there?
Anyways, the next conversation set me straight when I mentioned something about wedding dress shopping and she talked over me. But just because I hate myself, I thought I would give her a call and another chance today. And then the above ensued.
Also when I mentioned that I got the interview, and the school it was at, she was all "why would you want to work THERE." Great mom. Not sure if that's just because she's a bitchy person in general, or because she sucks at being a mom, or because she doesn't want me to live near her.
Anyways, I guess I have nothing to say to her anymore, since in order to talk to her I have to pretend like B doesn't exist. Can I return this mom and get a new one?