Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I graduated. B met my parents. Everyone survived.

So yesterday was somewhat momentous....I officially graduated with my PhD in sociology and demography, it was my one year anniversary with B, and B met my parents at graduation!

I wasn't actually there for most of the meeting. In the morning I walked over to campus (in my cool doctor robes, which was fun- lots of people I walked pasr said congrats!) and met up with all the other graduates, including a couple from my program. We all marched through the entire campus, to the football field, where all the parents and family people were waiting. My department's secretaries threw a bunch of confetti on me when I passed them. :)

Meanwhile, B and my parents and my brother met up in the audience, without me. I saw them when I marched past them into the football stadium...my brother sat between my parents and B. According to B they made some small talk, my mom barely looked at him the entire time, and only spoke directly to him once- when B said something about how lucky I am to have gotten a job in this terrible market, and my mom apparently was all "it's not luck, she had publications even when she was an undergrad and she's really smart!" So apparently my mom is proud of me after all. :) Just wish she would say something like that to me ever...it seems all we can do is snark at each other these days.

Meanwhile they made some small talk, B restrained himself from making any offensive jokes, and then we all met up for all of 20 minutes after the first graduation ceremony (because the second graduation was an hour after the first one and it took a while for us to find each other). My parents walked us to the second ceremony area where I was all "there are my inlaws!" when I saw them in the front row of the tent for the second ceremony (my in laws only came to the second smaller ceremony), and my mom made a face, so I didn't press for them to meet each other.

But anyways, it happened! My parents have met my husband after 3 and a half years of us being together and exactly a year after we got married! Nobody died! My brother's curse has not been fulfilled! I mentioned something about that curse to my parents and they were all "that rabbi was a charletan!" I was very proud of myself for just staying quiet and refraining from saying "and the other ones aren't?"

I probably shouldn't have brought up the curse thing at all, but I'm just so awkward around my parents now..we really have nothing to talk about, cause the only interaction we've had for the past 3 years is like them trying to convince me that I shouldn't be with my husband. I did show them pictures of my new house during our 20 minutes though and my parents told me they were proud of me, which was cool.

The second ceremony was even better, we got to hear about this astrophysics guy talk about the joy of research and then they called my name and gave me a fake diploma! The real one arrives in July or so...but as of yesterday my transcript now says I've been awarded a doctor of philosophy!! :) I finally got to send my transcript out to my new job so they can give me an official official contract (instead of a less official job offer letter), cause the job offer was contigent on me finishing my degree.

My in laws flew in for that second ceremony which was totally awesome of them. :) My in-laws and my brother and I also went to this southern restaurant for dinner on Sunday, since ever since I was down south a couple of weeks ago and my real estate agent took me out to local southern food places for lunch almost every day we were there, I have gotten crazy southern food cravings. I LOVE southern food! The food at this place was pretty good, but I had cheesy grits on the side and they just weren't the same as they are down south....they were like pureed so it was like smooth grits pudding, but I like the chunkier type of grits you get down south that have some texture to them. Oh well, I guess I will have to wait a couple more months until I can have real grits again...and then I can have them all the time, yay!

Anyways my parents aren't BFFs with B now, and I doubt they will come to visit us down south, at least not for a good long time (maybe till we have kids as everyone keeps saying, but that won't be for a few years yet), but the ice is broken! They have finally met each other! I no longer can say my parents have never met my husband! Yay!!


  1. I don't know what's more awesome: the fact that you are now officially Dr. Eden, the fact that your parents finally met your beloved, or the fact that you like grits.
    It's all pretty damn cool in my book.

  2. Whew! The world didn't end!
    Except for the part about the grits - they're just nasty, in my opinion, but I'm not the one who's going to live in the south!

  3. Enjoy life! You're a Phd. Your parents' meeting was civil and polite. Maybe as time moves on they'll actually take it in stride that you married a goy, and eventually they might really come to accept him as a decent human being.

    Stranger things have happenned.

    Best wishes.

  4. I am thrilled for you and the whole scene!! congrats on everything..i am proud of your parents..AE..its all good!

  5. Congratulations on all of this!

  6. Honestly girl, you will never be free until you completely abandon your parents & brother.
    Even acknowledging them feeds into their nonsense.
    You seriously need to tell them "either accept me for who I am, or get put of my life for good".

  7. anon- I have two brothers, which one? :) My brother who came to graduation totally accepts me + my husband- in fact he was one of the witnesses at our wedding. My religious brother- I haven't talked to him since march when I saw him at my cousin's wedding, and before that we hadn't talked in almost a year probably, so we don't have a great relationship as it is (although I don't want to completely cut him off- he's still very young- only 21- so he could still change).


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