Dear Abba,
I have a concern about a family member I was hoping you could help me with, since you've gone with such a similar thing yourself. First of all, my family member used to be cool, but then he started hanging out with a new crowd around 20 years ago, and I'm not sure this crowd has been the best influence on him. He has beliefs I don't agree with, and his friends seem to egg him on in bad behavior and encourage those beliefs, even to the point where he seems to be separating himself from the rest of the family. For many years he has been hurting other family members because he refuses to compromise with them, and he distances himself from his family members by constantly bringing up religious issues which can make other people uncomfortable. Recently he has really crossed the line in terms of what I find acceptable behavior, according to my own beliefs.
Yet, this person is still a part of my family. My child has a relationship with them, and they sometimes come to visit us as many as two times a year. However now that they have so crossed the lines in terms of acceptable beliefs, inviting them to my home would seem to condone their behavior, and I don't want to give the appearance that I condone the behavior I find so unacceptable. Also, inviting him to my house and giving the impression that I condone his behavior may hurt my community standing among my friends and other family members.
What do you suggest I do about my father, who refuses to attend my brother's wedding to a non-jewish woman?
-Abandoning Eden
