After 117 days of
nothing, I now officially am getting my period! I've never been this
happy to be bleeding out my vag in my life!
It started late last night around 10pm, so according to my PCOS consultants (on an awesome message board that my friend recommended) today is cycle day 1 and I start taking clomid on Sunday.
That unfortunately means that if I do ovulate on time (in 15 days) it'll
be the first day of my trip. But chances are I won't ovulate on
time anyway which means it may be during my trip. Ack!
I'm temping now [taking my temperature every morning- your temperature rises after ovulation] in order to
make sure I actually ovulate, and also have a bunch of
ovulation pee kits that I'm going to use until they run out but mostly just going to have a bunch of sex
this month. :)
Also yesterday maybe it was the PMS mood swings
but I just felt compelled to tell my parents about PCOS. I hadn't had
any contact with them since my diagnosis, and I was a bit apprehensive
about telling them, but yesterday my dad sent me a video from Disney World of him and my mom in "It's
a small world" and was like "we're thinking of you!" Which made me
remember something I hadn't thought about in decades- when I was a
little kid I used to make my parents go on that ride with me over and
over again whenever we went to disney world (my grandparents lived two
hours away and we would go down to visit at least once a year, so had
many trips there as a kid). I loved all the little outfits the different
dolls had representing all the different cultures in the world (or at
least what those cultures looked like in the past). Sociologist at a
young age!
Anyway I was writing back to him and telling him about a job thing and somehow I ended up writing a
long rant about PCOS and how I have it and also telling my parents that
me and B are TTC (trying to conceive) and that's why I know I have it, and CCed my mom
on the email. I hadn't even planned to tell them we were TTC until I was
pregnant, but I was just impulsive and sent it to them yesterday. So
about an hour later my dad actually ended up calling me from florida
(and my mom talked to me too) and we talked for like half an hour all
about how my dad is now on diabetes medication too. And we talked a bit
about low carb diets cause turns out my dad is on one too, and he's like
"Of course, eggs and fat arn't bad for you, it's the high carbs that
are bad!" and I was like "Ok you know that now, but don't pretend like
you knew this 5 years ago or something!" lol.
They didn't
really bring up the fact that I'm trying to conceive but they didn't shy
away from it or say anything mean which was what I'm afraid of, and my
mom was actually encouraging when I brought it up and was like "well now
at least you have a plan and know what you need to do." which I really
appreciated. I almost want to blog about this in my other (ex-jew) blog, but
I don't know that I want to tell hundreds of followers (and a couple of
crazy stalker douchebags) that I have PCOS...
But I would like to write about it there
just because now that I have it I'm finding out about SO MANY jewish
people who have it - so much so, that I wonder if this is one of those
many diseases that Ashkenazi jews are especially susceptible too (there
are dozens of those) so would like to spread some awareness of it.
In
other news this morning I am down to 205.4 (from 214) so I lost more than 8
pounds in 2 weeks! Woohoo! And that's with all this bloating from my
period...kinda have the feeling that I will drop a couple more pounds in
the next few days too.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Monday, December 3, 2012
PCOS, quit explaining everything weird about my life
(Originally posted July 29th, 2012)
I spent the entire week basically depressed and researching PCOS, and also carb-crashing and being all shakey and having major brain fog. But I walked 30-40 minutes every day except Wednesday, when I lifted cans for a half hour instead, and today in addition to walking I also did a 12 minute yoga video. We figured out a good walking route that is mostly in the shade (essential at this point in the summer in the south - by 8am it's blazing hot when you're in the sun) and takes us around 30-40 minutes to walk, and B has been walking with me most days.
B has been kinda awesome about this in general, he keeps making me all these crazy low carb recipes, he's been cooking 3 meals a day for me since I've been sitting home in a funk, and he walks with me with only minimal grumbling (and I grumble too). I love him. :)
Meanwhile, it's just getting bizzare and creepy at this point! Pretty much anything that has ever been weird about my body can be at least partially attributable for PCOS. Every day my mind is blown to another degree as yet another unexplained mysterious thing about my body turns out to be related.
Another thing attributable; I've always had really dark elbows and knuckles on my hands, like dark to the point where they look dirty (and my hands have knuckles like 5 shades darker than the rest of my fingers). This is why I don't wear rings other than my wedding ring and didn't mind not having an engagement ring- don't want to call too much attention to my hands cause they are weird colored looking, it always looks like I don't wash my hands enough or something.
For a year before my wedding I moisturized my elbows every day in an attempt to get them looking less dark (since I was going to wear a sleeveless dress), and at one point I read something about not having the right bacteria on your elbows to eat away the dead skin, so I made B rub elbows with me a bunch of times to try to transfer his elbow bacteria. I kid you not. Neither of these things helped of course.
Guess what explains it? Insulin resistance and a build up of insulin that pools in the folds of your skin, and causes excess skin buildup. Knuckles and elbows are specifically mentioned as a place this can happen (as are knees and ankles, but I don't have problems there except for the boney part that sticks out from my inner ankles being a bit darker) The same thing that caused the spots on my thigh (Which seem a bit lighter but that might just be wishful thinking) and the one on my hand that already disappeared.
Ok so the list of things weird about me, that are definitely or may be attributable to PCOS:
*Irregular period when not on birth control (this started at puberty, I never had a regular period, it always came every 5 to 8ish weeks before going on BC)
*elevated blood sugar
*high cholesterol
*"Manly" demeanor/personality, not being "girly" whatever that means according to other people (excess androgens).
*a few extra hairs on my chin/chest/belly and somewhat thinning hair (thankfully not yet to the point where it's embarrassing). My haircut people are always giving me layered haircuts to disguise how thin my hair is
*the fact that I have always had a hard time losing and keeping off weight and am in the "Obese" category even though I have had a reasonable diet/regular exercise for years.
*disrupted sleep/being a light sleeper
*spots on my thigh and hand
*dark elbows and knuckles
*always having some acne on my chin/forehead and having a ton of bacne whenever I'm not on birth control pills, despite being 30 and firmly over my teenage years
*my anxiety issues are probably partially related too - at least as there is a correlation found in the literature although causality has not yet been established - and now that I think about it, the 3 people in my immediate family who have some similar symptoms to me anxiety-wise - me, my one brother, and my dad, are the same people who are pre-diabetic or have insulin issues (me and my dad) or diabetic (my brother)
That is also a list of pretty much everything that has ever been weird about my body. At least it doesn't seem like I have multiple problems other than PCOS, just a bunch of PCOS related symptoms.
I spent the entire week basically depressed and researching PCOS, and also carb-crashing and being all shakey and having major brain fog. But I walked 30-40 minutes every day except Wednesday, when I lifted cans for a half hour instead, and today in addition to walking I also did a 12 minute yoga video. We figured out a good walking route that is mostly in the shade (essential at this point in the summer in the south - by 8am it's blazing hot when you're in the sun) and takes us around 30-40 minutes to walk, and B has been walking with me most days.
B has been kinda awesome about this in general, he keeps making me all these crazy low carb recipes, he's been cooking 3 meals a day for me since I've been sitting home in a funk, and he walks with me with only minimal grumbling (and I grumble too). I love him. :)
Meanwhile, it's just getting bizzare and creepy at this point! Pretty much anything that has ever been weird about my body can be at least partially attributable for PCOS. Every day my mind is blown to another degree as yet another unexplained mysterious thing about my body turns out to be related.
Another thing attributable; I've always had really dark elbows and knuckles on my hands, like dark to the point where they look dirty (and my hands have knuckles like 5 shades darker than the rest of my fingers). This is why I don't wear rings other than my wedding ring and didn't mind not having an engagement ring- don't want to call too much attention to my hands cause they are weird colored looking, it always looks like I don't wash my hands enough or something.
For a year before my wedding I moisturized my elbows every day in an attempt to get them looking less dark (since I was going to wear a sleeveless dress), and at one point I read something about not having the right bacteria on your elbows to eat away the dead skin, so I made B rub elbows with me a bunch of times to try to transfer his elbow bacteria. I kid you not. Neither of these things helped of course.
Guess what explains it? Insulin resistance and a build up of insulin that pools in the folds of your skin, and causes excess skin buildup. Knuckles and elbows are specifically mentioned as a place this can happen (as are knees and ankles, but I don't have problems there except for the boney part that sticks out from my inner ankles being a bit darker) The same thing that caused the spots on my thigh (Which seem a bit lighter but that might just be wishful thinking) and the one on my hand that already disappeared.
Ok so the list of things weird about me, that are definitely or may be attributable to PCOS:
*Irregular period when not on birth control (this started at puberty, I never had a regular period, it always came every 5 to 8ish weeks before going on BC)
*elevated blood sugar
*high cholesterol
*"Manly" demeanor/personality, not being "girly" whatever that means according to other people (excess androgens).
*a few extra hairs on my chin/chest/belly and somewhat thinning hair (thankfully not yet to the point where it's embarrassing). My haircut people are always giving me layered haircuts to disguise how thin my hair is
*the fact that I have always had a hard time losing and keeping off weight and am in the "Obese" category even though I have had a reasonable diet/regular exercise for years.
*disrupted sleep/being a light sleeper
*spots on my thigh and hand
*dark elbows and knuckles
*always having some acne on my chin/forehead and having a ton of bacne whenever I'm not on birth control pills, despite being 30 and firmly over my teenage years
*my anxiety issues are probably partially related too - at least as there is a correlation found in the literature although causality has not yet been established - and now that I think about it, the 3 people in my immediate family who have some similar symptoms to me anxiety-wise - me, my one brother, and my dad, are the same people who are pre-diabetic or have insulin issues (me and my dad) or diabetic (my brother)
That is also a list of pretty much everything that has ever been weird about my body. At least it doesn't seem like I have multiple problems other than PCOS, just a bunch of PCOS related symptoms.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Hush puppy meltdown (Originally posted July 22nd, 2012)
This new super low carb diet is killing me...went out to eat at my
favorite bbq place (which we always do when we go to run the errand we
ran today) and instead of a bbq sandwich with sweet tea I got a bbq
platter (no bread) with water. Only the platter came with a bunch of
hush puppies on top! I loooooove those hush puppies but they are 100%
carbs and that Dr. saying "Every time you have something bready you're
lowering your chance of ever getting pregnant" kept ringing in my ears. I
managed to resist eating any of them but having to give up my absolute
favorite food in the world (and having it right in front of my face and
having to throw it away) was too much...I had to leave as soon as I was
done eating and started getting all weepy in the car on the way home.
And then started flipping out and yelling at B about how he wouldn't
take an alcoholic to a bar 2 days after they quit drinking so wtf is
wrong with him suggesting we go to this place (Even though we just went
there like we always do when we run this errand, as a matter of
routine). And yes I know bbq sauce has some carbs.
I've been weepy on and off since Friday actually. I bet the hormones I have to take now to start up my period aren't helping with any of this either. Still no sign of that, but it's only been 3 days and the lady said I might not get my period until a few days until after I finish taking 10 days of these pills. Then I switch over to clomid day 3-7. And have sex days 12, 14 and 16. I really hope this doesn't end up coinciding with the trip I have to take next month, but with my shitty fertility luck, it will. I'll only be gone 4 days, and I can have sex in the morning before I leave and the afternoon I get back, so I'd only actually be missing 2 days. But if it takes 4 or 5 days to get my period after I finish these pills, I could be ovulating the second to last day of my trip which would be the worst- eggs are only good for 24 hours if unfertilized.
I've been weepy on and off since Friday actually. I bet the hormones I have to take now to start up my period aren't helping with any of this either. Still no sign of that, but it's only been 3 days and the lady said I might not get my period until a few days until after I finish taking 10 days of these pills. Then I switch over to clomid day 3-7. And have sex days 12, 14 and 16. I really hope this doesn't end up coinciding with the trip I have to take next month, but with my shitty fertility luck, it will. I'll only be gone 4 days, and I can have sex in the morning before I leave and the afternoon I get back, so I'd only actually be missing 2 days. But if it takes 4 or 5 days to get my period after I finish these pills, I could be ovulating the second to last day of my trip which would be the worst- eggs are only good for 24 hours if unfertilized.
Another symptom of PCOS discovered today-
disrupted sleep is reported by 85% of people who have had it. I'm a very
light sleeper and when I get woken up it takes me like at least an hour
to fall back asleep. Another mystery solved! Also, the major cause of
PCOS is insulin resistance and I have many signs that indicate I
have that (like discolorations on my skin). My brother has diabetes so
that's really scary...I do NOT want to have to give myself shots every
day. Hopefully extreme low carbing will help with that.
Another thing- the spots I have on my thigh which are a marker of insulin resistance didn't appear until I moved to the south. The only major dietary change I had when I moved here is I switched from getting an egg white and cheese sandwich on a whole wheat roll for breakfast (my breakfast almost every day in grad school) to Mcdonalds breakfast with an egg and cheese bagel + a medium iced coffee. Not only did i have a big non whole wheat bagel for breakfast almost every work day, but I also had a huge coffee chock full of high fructose corn syrup. I haven't had these for a few weeks since I've been working from home, and this morning I checked out those spots on my thighs and it seems they have gotten less dark than they were a couple of months ago. Mcdonalds is really the devil. I miss those iced coffees already though...maybe I can get some sort of latte from my local coffee place - with all the milk I don't mind the lack of sugar as much.
Another thing- the spots I have on my thigh which are a marker of insulin resistance didn't appear until I moved to the south. The only major dietary change I had when I moved here is I switched from getting an egg white and cheese sandwich on a whole wheat roll for breakfast (my breakfast almost every day in grad school) to Mcdonalds breakfast with an egg and cheese bagel + a medium iced coffee. Not only did i have a big non whole wheat bagel for breakfast almost every work day, but I also had a huge coffee chock full of high fructose corn syrup. I haven't had these for a few weeks since I've been working from home, and this morning I checked out those spots on my thighs and it seems they have gotten less dark than they were a couple of months ago. Mcdonalds is really the devil. I miss those iced coffees already though...maybe I can get some sort of latte from my local coffee place - with all the milk I don't mind the lack of sugar as much.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Oh hello 5 am (Originally posted July 21 2012)
Did you ever break up with someone, and then the next morning, wake up
at like 5am thinking everything is ok at first, but then it hits you
that you broke up with that person? And once that hits you, you are
done with sleep for the day and just lie there being depressed for a few
hours not able to fall back asleep?
Yeah this morning was like that, only instead of breaking up with someone, I might be infertile, and even if I'm not, will very likely have a hard time getting and staying pregnant.
Last night I talked to a friend with PCOS and 3 kids who told me all sorts of fun things that clomid could do. Like the way the first time she took it, when she ovulated it was so painful she ended up going to the ER. Lovely.
Also made the mistake of looking up information about PCOS, which I shouldn't, cause there just isn't anything I can do about it. But did you know people with PCOS have a 45% chance of miscarriage? Even better!
If in the end it comes down to things like surgery and having to inject myself with daily things and multiple miscarriages, I don't know if I could do that. If it comes down to that I might just not have kids, or adopt.
Also in reading I discovered that one of the symptoms is unusual discolorations around the groin/armpit area, which I totally have, so that's another weird thing explained (I have a few weird discolored spots on my thigh, and I was like "Wtf are these? am I getting skin cancer or liver spots or something?").
It would also explain why I have always had so much trouble losing weight and am always overweight even though I eat very healthily for the most part (like chicken and brown or wild rice for dinner/ egg whites and turkey sausage on whole wheat for breakfast is my standard fare- I don't live on chips and ice cream). I don't eat too much, and I'm fairly active (I don't jog every day or anything, but I walk my dogs once or twice a week, garden and pull weeds every day, gem mining once a month, etc,) but I'm still 213 pounds and 5 foot 7 which makes me "obese". Kinda makes me super pissed at my mom for all the times she harped on me about my weight, and all the borderline eating disorders and super low self esteem about my body that I had for years as a result- cause now the fact that I could never lose weight actually has an explanation, other than my mom's (and apparently my doctor's) explanation of me stuffing my face, which I just don't do.
I'm also pissed at my mom in general because we've partially reconciled but not enough that I feel comfortable talking to her about having PCOS, because then I would have to tell her we are trying to have kids, and I don't want to have to deal with any potential drama or even just her not being happy about me having kids. And I highly suspect she might not be as happy as I would want her to be, since that would tie me to B forever and will lead to more drama when things like "I'm not circumcising any sons I have" comes up. Which is just a shitty situation in general. I feel closer to my blog friends than to my mother, and this is making me feel momless again like I did when I didn't talk to her at all for 4 years.
This is probably just anger displacement though. I can't be angry at my body but I can still be angry at my mom!
Also, from a gender perspective, this whole thing is a giant mindfuck for me right now. I spent the past decade studying gender, and arguing with people who say there are biological gender differences by gender, saying they are minimal at best, and one of my arguments was "I don't [insert stereotypical female behavior], and ain't I a woman?" I also went through a period in college where I questioned whether I was transgendered to some degree, because throughout my life I've been called "Manly" told I "wear the pants in my relationships" etc. Even as a teenager, I always got along better with men than with women (I was frequently the only woman in a room full of dudes), and most of my best friends are men. Only to find that I probably have a disorder that leads to an unusually high amount of androgyns or "male hormones". That doesn't mean that the majority of gender roles aren't social rather than biological, but it's still..i don't know how to process that. I guess me as a woman having an unusually high amount of androgyns shows there is biological diversity in women too...I should go discuss this with my old feminist theory prof/mentor who I recall was working on a paper trying to prove hormones didn't matter, but couldn't, because they did. But yeah. I'm glad I switched over to more family/sex research instead of just research on gender (Which I started out doing), cause this whole thing makes me question a lot of things I thought were true about gender.
I don't think "half an hour of intense exercise" every day is going to happen, but half an hour of walking with my dog to the point it makes me sweat is very doable. So yesterday me and B walked around 45 minutes to the park, and this morning I walked to the park again with just Max and figured out that if I'm with Max (as opposed to Max + Barkley, who is slow as hell and likes to stop and smell every bush that we pass) I can do a park loop in half an hour that's really pretty pleasant. So I did that this morning too. And then I took Barkley out on a walk around the small loop in my neighborhood (we have a big one and a small one), which was another 15 minute walk, just cause when I got home with Max he looked so sad that he didn't get to go on a walk with us. Plus walking is fun.
Yeah this morning was like that, only instead of breaking up with someone, I might be infertile, and even if I'm not, will very likely have a hard time getting and staying pregnant.
Last night I talked to a friend with PCOS and 3 kids who told me all sorts of fun things that clomid could do. Like the way the first time she took it, when she ovulated it was so painful she ended up going to the ER. Lovely.
Also made the mistake of looking up information about PCOS, which I shouldn't, cause there just isn't anything I can do about it. But did you know people with PCOS have a 45% chance of miscarriage? Even better!
If in the end it comes down to things like surgery and having to inject myself with daily things and multiple miscarriages, I don't know if I could do that. If it comes down to that I might just not have kids, or adopt.
Also in reading I discovered that one of the symptoms is unusual discolorations around the groin/armpit area, which I totally have, so that's another weird thing explained (I have a few weird discolored spots on my thigh, and I was like "Wtf are these? am I getting skin cancer or liver spots or something?").
It would also explain why I have always had so much trouble losing weight and am always overweight even though I eat very healthily for the most part (like chicken and brown or wild rice for dinner/ egg whites and turkey sausage on whole wheat for breakfast is my standard fare- I don't live on chips and ice cream). I don't eat too much, and I'm fairly active (I don't jog every day or anything, but I walk my dogs once or twice a week, garden and pull weeds every day, gem mining once a month, etc,) but I'm still 213 pounds and 5 foot 7 which makes me "obese". Kinda makes me super pissed at my mom for all the times she harped on me about my weight, and all the borderline eating disorders and super low self esteem about my body that I had for years as a result- cause now the fact that I could never lose weight actually has an explanation, other than my mom's (and apparently my doctor's) explanation of me stuffing my face, which I just don't do.
I'm also pissed at my mom in general because we've partially reconciled but not enough that I feel comfortable talking to her about having PCOS, because then I would have to tell her we are trying to have kids, and I don't want to have to deal with any potential drama or even just her not being happy about me having kids. And I highly suspect she might not be as happy as I would want her to be, since that would tie me to B forever and will lead to more drama when things like "I'm not circumcising any sons I have" comes up. Which is just a shitty situation in general. I feel closer to my blog friends than to my mother, and this is making me feel momless again like I did when I didn't talk to her at all for 4 years.
This is probably just anger displacement though. I can't be angry at my body but I can still be angry at my mom!
Also, from a gender perspective, this whole thing is a giant mindfuck for me right now. I spent the past decade studying gender, and arguing with people who say there are biological gender differences by gender, saying they are minimal at best, and one of my arguments was "I don't [insert stereotypical female behavior], and ain't I a woman?" I also went through a period in college where I questioned whether I was transgendered to some degree, because throughout my life I've been called "Manly" told I "wear the pants in my relationships" etc. Even as a teenager, I always got along better with men than with women (I was frequently the only woman in a room full of dudes), and most of my best friends are men. Only to find that I probably have a disorder that leads to an unusually high amount of androgyns or "male hormones". That doesn't mean that the majority of gender roles aren't social rather than biological, but it's still..i don't know how to process that. I guess me as a woman having an unusually high amount of androgyns shows there is biological diversity in women too...I should go discuss this with my old feminist theory prof/mentor who I recall was working on a paper trying to prove hormones didn't matter, but couldn't, because they did. But yeah. I'm glad I switched over to more family/sex research instead of just research on gender (Which I started out doing), cause this whole thing makes me question a lot of things I thought were true about gender.
I don't think "half an hour of intense exercise" every day is going to happen, but half an hour of walking with my dog to the point it makes me sweat is very doable. So yesterday me and B walked around 45 minutes to the park, and this morning I walked to the park again with just Max and figured out that if I'm with Max (as opposed to Max + Barkley, who is slow as hell and likes to stop and smell every bush that we pass) I can do a park loop in half an hour that's really pretty pleasant. So I did that this morning too. And then I took Barkley out on a walk around the small loop in my neighborhood (we have a big one and a small one), which was another 15 minute walk, just cause when I got home with Max he looked so sad that he didn't get to go on a walk with us. Plus walking is fun.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
PCOS
This weekend I went to visit my inlaws for thanksgiving, and my father in law mentioned that he knows I must be pretty busy because when I'm really busy at work I hardly ever update my blog. Well that's true, but there's another reason I haven't been updating much lately, and that is because the thing that has been preoccupying most of my thoughts (and a lot of my time) was not something I was sure I wanted to share here. So instead I've been blogging about it at my other private blog. But now I've decided I am ready to talk about that stuff here. So what I've decided I'm going to do is take my other blog posts that I've been writing for the past few months in my other blog and re-post them here, and slowly release them over the next few weeks until we catch up with the present day.
The thing I haven't wanted to talk about is that B and I have been trying to get pregnant, and that in July I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and had to make an enormous amount of lifestyle changes in order to improve my chances of getting pregnant.
For some brief history: When B and I first got married in 2009 I went off birth control right away with the intent of starting to try getting pregnant, so that we could try to aim to have the child while I was finishing up my dissertation. I stopped using birth control in May and had a period then. Then I didn't have another one until July. Then I didn't have another one until October. At around October I took a pregnancy test and felt very relieved when it showed up negative, since it was getting to the point where I would be graduating in June, giving birth in July and starting a new job in August the next year. After that we had to stop trying for a while, becasue I would be starting a new job and you don't get maternity leave your first year on a new job. I figured the irregular periods were due to withdrawel from birth control, and besides my periods had never been very regular as a teenager- I used to get them every 5-7 weeks, and I took many a pregnancy test in college (before I was on birth control) as a result. Then I went on birth control when I was around 20 and have been on it with the exception of a few months here or there ever since.
So we stopped trying in October 2009, and I moved to my new job in July 2010. At my job I go up for review and reappointment in my third year (this year) and then I get a guaranteed paid research leave for one semester in my fourth year (next year). That seemed like a perfect time to plan a pregnancy around- I will have a paid semester off where I can work from home and have no teaching or service responsibilities and then could theoretically go on "Maternity leave" the next semester which in my school means I would teach 1 class instead of 3 and not do service (we get 3 months paid leave vs. the 4 month semester). And I would use the research leave as actual maternity leave and the maternity leave to make up for that research time. And I can take the research leave either Fall 2013 or Spring 2014 so that gave/gives us a nice long window of time.
So in December of last year I went off birth control again to give my body a nice long time to get rid of all those hormones and figure itself out before we started trying over the summer. And I got a period in December, and then in February, and then in April, and then not again...and then it was July and I still hadn't gotten my period and I wasn't pregnant. And that's where these blog posts pick up. So here are a couple from the day before and the day I found out I had PCOS. Stay tuned for more.
Originally posted July 19th 2012:
I also haven't gotten my period in 103 days, wtf! And I'm not pregnant! Clearly something is fucked. Anyway I made an appointment with the lady parts doctor for tomorrow, but I'm trying not to freak out too bad- my coworker had the same thing happen to her like 20 years ago and they gave her some pills to regulate her hormones and she got pregnant like 2 months later, so I'm not too worried. I wanted to wait until I got my period again to make an appointment (So I wouldn't be getting my period at the appointment) but this is fucking ridiculous, so I just went and made the appointment.
Originally posted July 20th 2012:
Welp, the doctor is pretty sure I have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) which is what I thought I might have. She also is testing a bunch of other things like my thyroid which I'll get the result of next week. In the meanwhile she gave me some pills to start up my period again, and Clomid for once it starts to keep it running. Kinda scared about the clomid part cause it can double your chance of getting twins but I guess I'd rather have twins than no babies! Then if I don't get pregnant after 2 months on clomid I'm going to go back for another appointment. At that point B would probably have to get tested too.
Also gave me a long lecture on being fat that made me feel like a loser. :( She was basically like "the pills arn't guaranteed to work and the best way to increase your chance of getting pregnant is losing weight" and then told me I have to exercise for half an hour of intense exercise every day, and can't eat any carbohydrates anymore and made all these snarky comments about putting the bread down. What am I going to eat? I'm already lactose intolerant and have high cholesterol, I seriously can't win. :( I'm guessing lots of chicken and salads.
All in all a bummer of a day. At least I have some pills to try to help now, but I was afraid I had PCOS and hearing that it probably is what I have really really sucked.
The thing I haven't wanted to talk about is that B and I have been trying to get pregnant, and that in July I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and had to make an enormous amount of lifestyle changes in order to improve my chances of getting pregnant.
For some brief history: When B and I first got married in 2009 I went off birth control right away with the intent of starting to try getting pregnant, so that we could try to aim to have the child while I was finishing up my dissertation. I stopped using birth control in May and had a period then. Then I didn't have another one until July. Then I didn't have another one until October. At around October I took a pregnancy test and felt very relieved when it showed up negative, since it was getting to the point where I would be graduating in June, giving birth in July and starting a new job in August the next year. After that we had to stop trying for a while, becasue I would be starting a new job and you don't get maternity leave your first year on a new job. I figured the irregular periods were due to withdrawel from birth control, and besides my periods had never been very regular as a teenager- I used to get them every 5-7 weeks, and I took many a pregnancy test in college (before I was on birth control) as a result. Then I went on birth control when I was around 20 and have been on it with the exception of a few months here or there ever since.
So we stopped trying in October 2009, and I moved to my new job in July 2010. At my job I go up for review and reappointment in my third year (this year) and then I get a guaranteed paid research leave for one semester in my fourth year (next year). That seemed like a perfect time to plan a pregnancy around- I will have a paid semester off where I can work from home and have no teaching or service responsibilities and then could theoretically go on "Maternity leave" the next semester which in my school means I would teach 1 class instead of 3 and not do service (we get 3 months paid leave vs. the 4 month semester). And I would use the research leave as actual maternity leave and the maternity leave to make up for that research time. And I can take the research leave either Fall 2013 or Spring 2014 so that gave/gives us a nice long window of time.
So in December of last year I went off birth control again to give my body a nice long time to get rid of all those hormones and figure itself out before we started trying over the summer. And I got a period in December, and then in February, and then in April, and then not again...and then it was July and I still hadn't gotten my period and I wasn't pregnant. And that's where these blog posts pick up. So here are a couple from the day before and the day I found out I had PCOS. Stay tuned for more.
Originally posted July 19th 2012:
I also haven't gotten my period in 103 days, wtf! And I'm not pregnant! Clearly something is fucked. Anyway I made an appointment with the lady parts doctor for tomorrow, but I'm trying not to freak out too bad- my coworker had the same thing happen to her like 20 years ago and they gave her some pills to regulate her hormones and she got pregnant like 2 months later, so I'm not too worried. I wanted to wait until I got my period again to make an appointment (So I wouldn't be getting my period at the appointment) but this is fucking ridiculous, so I just went and made the appointment.
Originally posted July 20th 2012:
Welp, the doctor is pretty sure I have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) which is what I thought I might have. She also is testing a bunch of other things like my thyroid which I'll get the result of next week. In the meanwhile she gave me some pills to start up my period again, and Clomid for once it starts to keep it running. Kinda scared about the clomid part cause it can double your chance of getting twins but I guess I'd rather have twins than no babies! Then if I don't get pregnant after 2 months on clomid I'm going to go back for another appointment. At that point B would probably have to get tested too.
Also gave me a long lecture on being fat that made me feel like a loser. :( She was basically like "the pills arn't guaranteed to work and the best way to increase your chance of getting pregnant is losing weight" and then told me I have to exercise for half an hour of intense exercise every day, and can't eat any carbohydrates anymore and made all these snarky comments about putting the bread down. What am I going to eat? I'm already lactose intolerant and have high cholesterol, I seriously can't win. :( I'm guessing lots of chicken and salads.
All in all a bummer of a day. At least I have some pills to try to help now, but I was afraid I had PCOS and hearing that it probably is what I have really really sucked.
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