Get an energetic dog and take him out at least 2-3 times a day (cause he goes out 5-6 times a day).
I lost 5 pounds in the last week which makes me very happy indeed (since they are the 5 pounds I gained over christmas and didn't lose till this week). My stomach is visibly smaller. I should start taking measurements or something to actually track that, which is always fun (as long as I'm losing weight anyways).
Both of us have been going to sleep at 9pm and waking up at 6:30. Last night we went to sleep at 8 and woke up at 5am. I guess those are the consequences of going from 3 years of nothing more vigorous than climbing up a flight of stairs to running around with my dog every day for at least an hour. And I do literally run with him for at least a block per walk. I'm sure I look ridiculously foolish, but who cares.
My legs are going to look farking awesome for my wedding. And I will not be ashamed to wear a bathing suit on the cruise.
So here it is ladies and gentleman! The secret to weight loss. DOGS: Get one and stay fit for the next 10-12 years.
(disclaimer: Will not work if dog is kept in a fenced in yard.)
Friday, January 30, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
my dog is awesome, part 1 in a series
Just now I gave Barkley a new rawhide bone to play with. He kept carrying it around in his mouth and looked all over the apartment for about 10 minutes. Then he found a pile of shoes in a corner, so he moved all the shoes, put the bone where they had been, and then put all the shoes back on top of the bone.
Yes, my dog has buried a bone under a pile of shoes. How adorable is he?
Yes, my dog has buried a bone under a pile of shoes. How adorable is he?
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Email we just got from the Basset Rescue!!
Hi Abandoning Eden and B,
I have a great little Basset mix that I think would be a good fit for you. His name is Flash and he's about 2 years old. He's in a foster home and is a sweet, playful boy. He's housetrained (mostly), good with the cats in the foster home, not much of a barker, and is happy, happy, happy! He does chew so you'll need to crate him when you're away from home. I've attached a couple of photos and told the foster home that you'll be calling to get additional information: E is the foster "dad" and his number is xxx-xxx-xxxx. Let me know if you want to adopt Flash after you speak with E.
Thanks!
Basset Rescue Lady
From petfinder:
Flash was saved from a life of being tied out by the side of a highway! Sweet and affectionate, he seems to know that he was saved and is a very grateful fellow. Flash is between 1 - 2 years old and has hard-to-find lemon and white Basset coloring. He's doing well in a foster home and gets along well with the other dogs in the home. His foster dad thinks that he's got lab in him because of his happy, playful, fun-loving personality. Flash is a sweet boy who would love to be your best friend.
He's a lemon bassador! We're calling tonight after we get home from work but unless "Housetrained(mostly)" means "pees all over everything constantly" I think this is our dog!
I have a great little Basset mix that I think would be a good fit for you. His name is Flash and he's about 2 years old. He's in a foster home and is a sweet, playful boy. He's housetrained (mostly), good with the cats in the foster home, not much of a barker, and is happy, happy, happy! He does chew so you'll need to crate him when you're away from home. I've attached a couple of photos and told the foster home that you'll be calling to get additional information: E is the foster "dad" and his number is xxx-xxx-xxxx. Let me know if you want to adopt Flash after you speak with E.
Thanks!
Basset Rescue Lady
From petfinder:
Flash was saved from a life of being tied out by the side of a highway! Sweet and affectionate, he seems to know that he was saved and is a very grateful fellow. Flash is between 1 - 2 years old and has hard-to-find lemon and white Basset coloring. He's doing well in a foster home and gets along well with the other dogs in the home. His foster dad thinks that he's got lab in him because of his happy, playful, fun-loving personality. Flash is a sweet boy who would love to be your best friend.
He's a lemon bassador! We're calling tonight after we get home from work but unless "Housetrained(mostly)" means "pees all over everything constantly" I think this is our dog!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Live blogging the inauguration
11:09: Just walked home in the cold from my morning class, and now am happily sitting with my 3 kitties watching what is sure to be one of the most memorable political events in my lifetime.
My eyes are already starting to well up a little, just watching them come on to the stage. I'm glad I passed on watching this at school, cause now I can bawl my eyes out at home and not, you know, be in public.
Later today the Dead will be playing! I'm going to try and liveblog some of my thoughts during the inauguration.
Al Gore, the man who should be the outgoing president, is stepping onto the stage right now.
11:18: Bill Clinton is walking and talking to Bush the senior, leaving Hillary to trail behind them like a lost puppy. Barbara Bush is up ahead.
11:49: Reverend rick douchebag is talking. He sounds like he's sobbing. All this god and heaven stuff at a government function makes me mighty uncomfortable.
11:52: "All this in the name of Jesus" MIGHTY mighty uncomfortable.
11:54: I didn't even know Aretha Franklin was still alive!
11:55: Her voice isn't that great anymore. :( She needs to be singing at a lower octave.
11:57: They're administering the oath of office to the VP. Isn't Bush not legally president anymore as of noon? Does that mean that from when noon until whenever they swear in Obama there will be no president?
11:59: More music, Itzhak Perlman is playing. I thought he was dead too! Which famous violinist was it who died a few years back if not him?
12:05: he's taking the oath!! (and the violinist I was thinking of was Isaac Stern)
12:05: He's president!!!!!!!!!
12:07: "It is my great personal honor to welcome the 44th president of the United States, Barack Obama"
and there comes the tears
12:09: He's talking about being true to the ideals set forward by our founding documents. Here here!
12:10: aww he stumbled during a great line in his speech about meeting challenges
12:11: all are equal all are free and all deserve a full chance...
12:14: we're lowering the cost of healthcare by using technology? A far cry from what this country needs.
12:16: The market can't be a free market. Now there's a message I can get behind! The destructive reign of Reagonomics is over!
12:17: We're ready to lead the world once more? Face down facism and communism? Errr.....
12:19: "We are a nation of christians and muslims, jews and muslims. And nonbelievers." woo! nonbelievers! :)
12:20: He seems hesitant and nervous at times. This speech isn't as great as some of the campaign speeches I've seen. Understandable though, there was so much pressure on him to give the greatest speech EVAR.
12:22: Why is MSNBC cutting to pictures of random audience members (well not random, anyone with anything soldier-related)? I want to see Obama when he's talking!
12:24: "As a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served in a restaurant can now stand before you to take a sacred oath." welling up again...
12:26: So he didn't just declare the United States to be a Muslim state. There went that theory....didn't get assassinated either I'm happy to say! (Don't tell me you weren't worried about that too!)
12:29: I was going to skip the poem to go put my laundry in the drier, but it pulled me in...I like it!
12:31: "What if the mightiest word is love?"
12:32: I'm going to skip the bennediction to go throw my stuff in the dryer.
12:36: laundry in dryer. This dude doesn't seem to be as offensively religious as the other dude, although I missed the first few minutes.
12:37: "let all those who love justice and mercy say amen"
Amen!
12:38: seachanters are singing the anthom! Seachanters!
12:40: shaking hands, and now he's indoors.
It's over! Everyone survived! President Obama is our president! President Obama! That is so great to say!
Now to find out when/on what channel The Dead will be playing...
12:50: MSNBC just said "President Obama walking with former President George W. Bush." Have sweeter words ever been spoken?
12:53: The former President walks with his wife holding onto his arm: President Obama and the First Lady are just straight up holding hands. <3
My eyes are already starting to well up a little, just watching them come on to the stage. I'm glad I passed on watching this at school, cause now I can bawl my eyes out at home and not, you know, be in public.
Later today the Dead will be playing! I'm going to try and liveblog some of my thoughts during the inauguration.
Al Gore, the man who should be the outgoing president, is stepping onto the stage right now.
11:18: Bill Clinton is walking and talking to Bush the senior, leaving Hillary to trail behind them like a lost puppy. Barbara Bush is up ahead.
11:49: Reverend rick douchebag is talking. He sounds like he's sobbing. All this god and heaven stuff at a government function makes me mighty uncomfortable.
11:52: "All this in the name of Jesus" MIGHTY mighty uncomfortable.
11:54: I didn't even know Aretha Franklin was still alive!
11:55: Her voice isn't that great anymore. :( She needs to be singing at a lower octave.
11:57: They're administering the oath of office to the VP. Isn't Bush not legally president anymore as of noon? Does that mean that from when noon until whenever they swear in Obama there will be no president?
11:59: More music, Itzhak Perlman is playing. I thought he was dead too! Which famous violinist was it who died a few years back if not him?
12:05: he's taking the oath!! (and the violinist I was thinking of was Isaac Stern)
12:05: He's president!!!!!!!!!
12:07: "It is my great personal honor to welcome the 44th president of the United States, Barack Obama"
and there comes the tears
12:09: He's talking about being true to the ideals set forward by our founding documents. Here here!
12:10: aww he stumbled during a great line in his speech about meeting challenges
12:11: all are equal all are free and all deserve a full chance...
12:14: we're lowering the cost of healthcare by using technology? A far cry from what this country needs.
12:16: The market can't be a free market. Now there's a message I can get behind! The destructive reign of Reagonomics is over!
12:17: We're ready to lead the world once more? Face down facism and communism? Errr.....
12:19: "We are a nation of christians and muslims, jews and muslims. And nonbelievers." woo! nonbelievers! :)
12:20: He seems hesitant and nervous at times. This speech isn't as great as some of the campaign speeches I've seen. Understandable though, there was so much pressure on him to give the greatest speech EVAR.
12:22: Why is MSNBC cutting to pictures of random audience members (well not random, anyone with anything soldier-related)? I want to see Obama when he's talking!
12:24: "As a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served in a restaurant can now stand before you to take a sacred oath." welling up again...
12:26: So he didn't just declare the United States to be a Muslim state. There went that theory....didn't get assassinated either I'm happy to say! (Don't tell me you weren't worried about that too!)
12:29: I was going to skip the poem to go put my laundry in the drier, but it pulled me in...I like it!
12:31: "What if the mightiest word is love?"
12:32: I'm going to skip the bennediction to go throw my stuff in the dryer.
12:36: laundry in dryer. This dude doesn't seem to be as offensively religious as the other dude, although I missed the first few minutes.
12:37: "let all those who love justice and mercy say amen"
Amen!
12:38: seachanters are singing the anthom! Seachanters!
12:40: shaking hands, and now he's indoors.
It's over! Everyone survived! President Obama is our president! President Obama! That is so great to say!
Now to find out when/on what channel The Dead will be playing...
12:50: MSNBC just said "President Obama walking with former President George W. Bush." Have sweeter words ever been spoken?
12:53: The former President walks with his wife holding onto his arm: President Obama and the First Lady are just straight up holding hands. <3
It's here it's here!!
I gotta go to my stats class today, but that ends at 10:30 and then I'm coming straight home to watch it. Still haven't decided what channel to watch it on...I might go with current_tv since they are "live twittering" the speech-viewers send in twitters and appropriate ones make it to the bottom of the screen almost instantly. I like the commentary, and I don't think a lot of channels will be having any.
Random fact: When Bush was inaugurated in 2001 I watched it from Tel Aviv, where I was hanging out with a friend after extending my birthrite ticket. That was the last time I've been out of this country.
Random fact: When Bush was inaugurated in 2001 I watched it from Tel Aviv, where I was hanging out with a friend after extending my birthrite ticket. That was the last time I've been out of this country.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Good dog update!!
Called on wednesday, they said to call back this weekend.
Called yesterday like 10 times, no one picked up.
Called at around noon today, guy picked up, and made fun of me for calling so many times yesterday...said he was on the phone at the time, but would call me back later.
SEVEN hours later, his wife called me back finally! She kept grilling me with questions about how was I looking for a perfect dog, I have to remember that rescue dogs sometimes have problems adjusting, etc, etc. I was super nervous the whole interview.
But then she said she was going to send me an email about a specific basset mix she has in mind, and asked if I would be able to adopt as early as next weekend!!! So yay!!!
Called yesterday like 10 times, no one picked up.
Called at around noon today, guy picked up, and made fun of me for calling so many times yesterday...said he was on the phone at the time, but would call me back later.
SEVEN hours later, his wife called me back finally! She kept grilling me with questions about how was I looking for a perfect dog, I have to remember that rescue dogs sometimes have problems adjusting, etc, etc. I was super nervous the whole interview.
But then she said she was going to send me an email about a specific basset mix she has in mind, and asked if I would be able to adopt as early as next weekend!!! So yay!!!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Music Trivia
The Led Zeppelin lyrics we are putting on our wedding rings are also (partially) in the lyrics to the Jimi Hendrix song "If 6 was 9", a song about marching to your own drum. And that fits us very well too. :)
Jimi Hendrix "If 6 was 9"
If the sun refused to shine
I don't mind, I don't mind
If the mountains fell in the sea
Let it be, it ain't me.
Got my own world to live through and
And I ain't gonna copy you.
Now if six turned out to be nine
I don't mind, I don't mind
If all the hippies cut off all their hair
I don't care, I don't care.
cause Ive got my own world to live through and
And I ain't gonna copy you.
White collar conservative flashin down the street
Pointin their plastic finger at me
They're hopin soon my kind will drop and die but
I'm gonna wave my freak flag high, high
Fall mountains, just don't fall on me
Go ahead on mister business man, you cant dress like me
Don't nobody know what I'm talkin about
I've got my own life to live
I'm the one thats gonna die when its time for me to die
So let me live my life the way I want to
Yeah, sing on brother, play on drummer
Jimi Hendrix "If 6 was 9"
If the sun refused to shine
I don't mind, I don't mind
If the mountains fell in the sea
Let it be, it ain't me.
Got my own world to live through and
And I ain't gonna copy you.
Now if six turned out to be nine
I don't mind, I don't mind
If all the hippies cut off all their hair
I don't care, I don't care.
cause Ive got my own world to live through and
And I ain't gonna copy you.
White collar conservative flashin down the street
Pointin their plastic finger at me
They're hopin soon my kind will drop and die but
I'm gonna wave my freak flag high, high
Fall mountains, just don't fall on me
Go ahead on mister business man, you cant dress like me
Don't nobody know what I'm talkin about
I've got my own life to live
I'm the one thats gonna die when its time for me to die
So let me live my life the way I want to
Yeah, sing on brother, play on drummer
Buying wedding rings!
We are about to order our rings. Having done a whole lot of research, we have decided they are going to be relatively plain rings, 5mm wide, comfort fit and made out of palladium.
Here is what they will look like:
They will be engraved on the inside. His will say "If the sun refused to shine" and mine will say "If mountains crumble to the sea"
From Led Zeppelin's song Thank You:
If the sun refused to shine
I would still be loving you
If mountains crumble to the sea
there will still be you and me
Kind woman, I give you my all, Kind woman, nothing more
Little drops of rain whisper of the pain
tears of loves lost in the days gone by
My love is strong, with you there is no wrong,
together we shall go until we die. My, my, my
An inspiration is what you are to me, inspiration, look, see
And so today, my world it smiles
your hand in mine, we walk the miles
Thanks to you it will be done
for you to me are the only one
Happiness, no more be sad, happiness, I'm glad
If the sun refused to shine
I would still be loving you
If mountains crumble to the sea
there will still be you and me
Here is what they will look like:
They will be engraved on the inside. His will say "If the sun refused to shine" and mine will say "If mountains crumble to the sea"
From Led Zeppelin's song Thank You:
If the sun refused to shine
I would still be loving you
If mountains crumble to the sea
there will still be you and me
Kind woman, I give you my all, Kind woman, nothing more
Little drops of rain whisper of the pain
tears of loves lost in the days gone by
My love is strong, with you there is no wrong,
together we shall go until we die. My, my, my
An inspiration is what you are to me, inspiration, look, see
And so today, my world it smiles
your hand in mine, we walk the miles
Thanks to you it will be done
for you to me are the only one
Happiness, no more be sad, happiness, I'm glad
If the sun refused to shine
I would still be loving you
If mountains crumble to the sea
there will still be you and me
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Brief Doggy/Life Update
The Basset Hound rescue place we had a phone interview with on Saturday told us to call back on Tuesday night from 6:30-9. Also to try repeatedly if we didn't get through to anyone.
We called back on Tuesday. Repeatedly. No one answered. Left a voicemail and sent an email. No response.
Last night we called again, someone answered (yay!) but she said to call back this weekend (boo!) because her husband had just gotten out of the hospital on Tuesday (which I guess is why no one picked up), and they hadn't had a chance to look over our application yet.
Seriously though, while I appreciate that things like this are out of people's control, how long and hard is the process of adopting a dog? We've been trying for over 3 weeks! If this basset hound thing ends up not working out I think we will take a break from trying to get a dog for a month or two (or possibly until after the wedding), cause this is just too much work and too much disappointment. That would however ruin my devious plan of getting into better shape before the wedding/cruise/pregnancy by taking the dog for a long walk every day.
In other life news, I've decided to audit two courses this semester, since I'm spending an extra year in grad school and I may as well take advantage of the extra time I have as a result. I think I might be taking on too much work, but then again I'm not teaching this semester, and these are both classes I really want to take (and at least one will be really useful for my dissertation). And with auditing I don't have to write papers or take exams, so I get do have all the fun parts of class (learning new and useful skills, reading and discussing books) with none of the time consuming/useless parts.
The two classes I'm auditing are an advanced statistics class on survival analysis, and a feminist theory class. I started the survival analysis class this morning, and it looks to be pretty good. It's mostly stuff I already have taught myself (I use this statistical method in my research a lot), but I think taking a class will help fill in all the gaps in knowledge that occur when you teach something to yourself.
It was kinda sad to go to a stats class without Quiet Girl, since she used to be my stats class buddy back in the day (the last time I took a class, 2 years ago). Instead my super annoying ex-officemate ended up sitting next to me. I gotta start showing up later so that she gets there first and I can find a seat far far away from her.
I'm really excited for feminist theory, which starts Monday. I just spent $200 buying 6 out of the 8 books required for the class (I already had the other 2). They are having a visiting prof teach it and apparently she is big in the feminist theory field. The class is basically going to involve reading a 1 book + several articles each week and then discussing it in class. It's like a book club, but with feminism! Should be fun. And apparently my annoying ex-officemate will NOT be taking it, so it's that much better (something about "too much work"). I'll have to write a one page summary of everything we read, but I'm exempt from exams and all the longer papers, and really- having a one page summary of books I've read can only help me in the long run.
Point is though, I probably will not be updating as much this semester. But then again, maybe I will. I have lots of life-changing events coming up this year, including dogs, weddings, trips to Europe, and soon baby making! It's exciting times!
We called back on Tuesday. Repeatedly. No one answered. Left a voicemail and sent an email. No response.
Last night we called again, someone answered (yay!) but she said to call back this weekend (boo!) because her husband had just gotten out of the hospital on Tuesday (which I guess is why no one picked up), and they hadn't had a chance to look over our application yet.
Seriously though, while I appreciate that things like this are out of people's control, how long and hard is the process of adopting a dog? We've been trying for over 3 weeks! If this basset hound thing ends up not working out I think we will take a break from trying to get a dog for a month or two (or possibly until after the wedding), cause this is just too much work and too much disappointment. That would however ruin my devious plan of getting into better shape before the wedding/cruise/pregnancy by taking the dog for a long walk every day.
In other life news, I've decided to audit two courses this semester, since I'm spending an extra year in grad school and I may as well take advantage of the extra time I have as a result. I think I might be taking on too much work, but then again I'm not teaching this semester, and these are both classes I really want to take (and at least one will be really useful for my dissertation). And with auditing I don't have to write papers or take exams, so I get do have all the fun parts of class (learning new and useful skills, reading and discussing books) with none of the time consuming/useless parts.
The two classes I'm auditing are an advanced statistics class on survival analysis, and a feminist theory class. I started the survival analysis class this morning, and it looks to be pretty good. It's mostly stuff I already have taught myself (I use this statistical method in my research a lot), but I think taking a class will help fill in all the gaps in knowledge that occur when you teach something to yourself.
It was kinda sad to go to a stats class without Quiet Girl, since she used to be my stats class buddy back in the day (the last time I took a class, 2 years ago). Instead my super annoying ex-officemate ended up sitting next to me. I gotta start showing up later so that she gets there first and I can find a seat far far away from her.
I'm really excited for feminist theory, which starts Monday. I just spent $200 buying 6 out of the 8 books required for the class (I already had the other 2). They are having a visiting prof teach it and apparently she is big in the feminist theory field. The class is basically going to involve reading a 1 book + several articles each week and then discussing it in class. It's like a book club, but with feminism! Should be fun. And apparently my annoying ex-officemate will NOT be taking it, so it's that much better (something about "too much work"). I'll have to write a one page summary of everything we read, but I'm exempt from exams and all the longer papers, and really- having a one page summary of books I've read can only help me in the long run.
Point is though, I probably will not be updating as much this semester. But then again, maybe I will. I have lots of life-changing events coming up this year, including dogs, weddings, trips to Europe, and soon baby making! It's exciting times!
Monday, January 12, 2009
Happy anniversary to me and B!
Two years ago today, I reluctantly went on a first date with B. B randomly messaged me on okcupid.com. I wasn't that into his picture, and I hesitated becuase he wasn't jewish (I had only ever gone on 1 date with a non-jewish person before) but I really liked his profile (actually: the only reason I wrote back to him was that his favorite books were exactly the same as my favorite books), and he kept charming me with his witty writing. I figured at first he would make a good friend, since we had so many interests in common (we were 89% matches on okcupid). Also it was winter break, and (as any true academics know), I decided I had to get at least one date in over winter break before going back into my office, not to emerge again until spring time. He only lived 4 blocks away from me, so it wasn't a big hassle to meet up with him.
We met up, and I made sure to meet up with him pretty late on a day I had plans, so that after about 40 minutes I would have an excuse to leave. Later that night I went to a potluck, and I couldn't stop thinking about him the whole time, and kept telling my friend all about him. Me and B talked online all week, and a week after first meeting him, I had some friends over, and invited him to come hang out (still thinking he would be a good friend). He was supposed to come over again the next day after a show, but I ended up blowing him off becuase I drank too much and kinda fainting all over my friend at the show. So the day after that we hung out at his place, friend free, and just talked until 3 in the morning. I hesitated at the door a looong time, hoping he would kiss me, but he didn't. While we were hanging out, it had snowed for the first time that year, and 2 minutes after I left his house I called him to tell him to look outside at all the awesome snow.
A week after that we hung out again, talking again until 3 in the morning, and then (finally!) hooked up. I stayed all weekend, went to school on Monday, went back to his place on Monday night, and then I just never really left. I would stop by my place in the morning to change and get ready for school, but go straight to his place at the end of the day. Since then, we have spent almost every day and night together, and last April he finally moved into my place for reals. We still occasionally stay up till 3am, just talking to each other.
So happy anniversary to us! Unfortunately I have to spend the day at work due to some major slack-offage last week, but tonight we're going to a lovely Italian restaurant to celebrate (and our gift to each other this year is a dog, although that's going to be a bit delayed). :)
We met up, and I made sure to meet up with him pretty late on a day I had plans, so that after about 40 minutes I would have an excuse to leave. Later that night I went to a potluck, and I couldn't stop thinking about him the whole time, and kept telling my friend all about him. Me and B talked online all week, and a week after first meeting him, I had some friends over, and invited him to come hang out (still thinking he would be a good friend). He was supposed to come over again the next day after a show, but I ended up blowing him off becuase I drank too much and kinda fainting all over my friend at the show. So the day after that we hung out at his place, friend free, and just talked until 3 in the morning. I hesitated at the door a looong time, hoping he would kiss me, but he didn't. While we were hanging out, it had snowed for the first time that year, and 2 minutes after I left his house I called him to tell him to look outside at all the awesome snow.
A week after that we hung out again, talking again until 3 in the morning, and then (finally!) hooked up. I stayed all weekend, went to school on Monday, went back to his place on Monday night, and then I just never really left. I would stop by my place in the morning to change and get ready for school, but go straight to his place at the end of the day. Since then, we have spent almost every day and night together, and last April he finally moved into my place for reals. We still occasionally stay up till 3am, just talking to each other.
So happy anniversary to us! Unfortunately I have to spend the day at work due to some major slack-offage last week, but tonight we're going to a lovely Italian restaurant to celebrate (and our gift to each other this year is a dog, although that's going to be a bit delayed). :)
Saturday, January 10, 2009
The quest for a dog continues
So it turns out the shelter that was giving us the run around ended up adopting the dog we wanted to a different family. :(
We also filled out an application for a basset hound rescue place. Didn't hear back from them for a few days.
Then yesterday we went to the SPCA and looked at the dogs there. The dogs were like 95% pitbulls. We met a really sweet Alaskan Husky dog that was just a little too barky, and also found a nice sweet pitbull-pug(we think) mix that had been given up by their former owner because they were in the military and were transfered overseas. There was also someone else previously interested in that dog, so there's a possibility it will be adopted to that person instead. We filled out an application, but the SPCA requires a letter from our landlord saying we could have dogs, which we didn't have on us. Got home last night and emailed the landlord for a letter, and she hasn't gotten back to us yet.
Meanwhile, this morning the basset hound rescue place called us up for a phone interview. She asked a lot of questions like about how I had gotten my kitties, and she seemed very impressed that all 3 of them were rescues. She also seemed impressed by the food we feed them (Nutro) and the fact that we both work part time so that we are in and out of the house all day.
So we have decided that, for now, we are going to try and see if we can get a basset. It's a lot more expensive than the SPCA ($200 vs. $75) but we get the breed we actually want, and we get to rescue a basset from a life of doom (In fact she was telling us how they just rescued 5 bassets from a puppy mill...awww). They are also more likely to be housetrained and not traumatized, because they are all living in foster homes, and not in a big smelly kennel. We are supposed to call the president of the organization on Tuesday night to find out if our application has been approved. We are still going to get the letter from the landlord in case this goes wrong, but this rescue has tons of bassets, so as long as our application goes through we should be set.
This is turning out to be quite the quest for a dog! Here has been our quest so far:
1) 12/31: Went to a pet store adoption hours, but the humane society never showed up that day. Got lost on the way there
2) 12/31: Went to a small rescue downtown (lots of traffic to get there), but they only had 3 dogs at the time, and they were all huge
3) 1/2: Went to the rescue last week, got lost on the way there as well, called back the shelter 5 times over a week only to have them tell us they had given away the dog yesterday
4) 1/9: went to the SPCA, got SUPER lost on the way there (like we had to turn around twice because we couldn't figure out hot to get onto the street we needed to turn onto. Twice.).
5) 1/10 Had a 45 minute phone interview with the basset rescue place.
Wow we've gotten lost on the way to 3/4 shelters we went to. :)
We also filled out an application for a basset hound rescue place. Didn't hear back from them for a few days.
Then yesterday we went to the SPCA and looked at the dogs there. The dogs were like 95% pitbulls. We met a really sweet Alaskan Husky dog that was just a little too barky, and also found a nice sweet pitbull-pug(we think) mix that had been given up by their former owner because they were in the military and were transfered overseas. There was also someone else previously interested in that dog, so there's a possibility it will be adopted to that person instead. We filled out an application, but the SPCA requires a letter from our landlord saying we could have dogs, which we didn't have on us. Got home last night and emailed the landlord for a letter, and she hasn't gotten back to us yet.
Meanwhile, this morning the basset hound rescue place called us up for a phone interview. She asked a lot of questions like about how I had gotten my kitties, and she seemed very impressed that all 3 of them were rescues. She also seemed impressed by the food we feed them (Nutro) and the fact that we both work part time so that we are in and out of the house all day.
So we have decided that, for now, we are going to try and see if we can get a basset. It's a lot more expensive than the SPCA ($200 vs. $75) but we get the breed we actually want, and we get to rescue a basset from a life of doom (In fact she was telling us how they just rescued 5 bassets from a puppy mill...awww). They are also more likely to be housetrained and not traumatized, because they are all living in foster homes, and not in a big smelly kennel. We are supposed to call the president of the organization on Tuesday night to find out if our application has been approved. We are still going to get the letter from the landlord in case this goes wrong, but this rescue has tons of bassets, so as long as our application goes through we should be set.
This is turning out to be quite the quest for a dog! Here has been our quest so far:
1) 12/31: Went to a pet store adoption hours, but the humane society never showed up that day. Got lost on the way there
2) 12/31: Went to a small rescue downtown (lots of traffic to get there), but they only had 3 dogs at the time, and they were all huge
3) 1/2: Went to the rescue last week, got lost on the way there as well, called back the shelter 5 times over a week only to have them tell us they had given away the dog yesterday
4) 1/9: went to the SPCA, got SUPER lost on the way there (like we had to turn around twice because we couldn't figure out hot to get onto the street we needed to turn onto. Twice.).
5) 1/10 Had a 45 minute phone interview with the basset rescue place.
Wow we've gotten lost on the way to 3/4 shelters we went to. :)
Thursday, January 8, 2009
My brother is brainwashed.
I just got a call from my brother E, who is in Israel. This is the first time in his life he has ever called me. And he called from Israel.
What was so important you may ask? That was my question too...was something on his mind? Why was he calling me for the first time from a different country? (and he's coming back next week, it's not like he's going to be there all year).
He started going on about how he went to a lecture with a very important rabbi, and was talking to the rabbi afterwards about me. And the rabbi said something that he had to tell me, and he didn't want to tell me, cause he thought it would make me very mad, etc. etc.
Of course I thought that the Rabbi had told him that he couldn't ever talk to me again. So I get all nervous as I hate confrontation.
Then more preamble: He wants to tell me this thing the rabbi said, but I have to agree to listen to all of it first and try not to get mad. He wants to tell me 2 things first: 1. My parents did not put him up to this, and he never talked to them about me at all and 2. That he didn't want to make me mad, but he felt that he had to tell me this, even though he didn't want to.
And what did this Rabbi say that was so important my little brother called me for the first time ever, from a different country?
The Rabbi said that one of three things will happen with me and B. Either B will fully convert to Judiasm, or we will break up, or B will die within a year.
Let me repeat that. A big fancy Rabbi in Israel told my little brother that unless his big sister's fiance converts or breaks up with his sister, his sister's fiance will die within a year.
I shit you not.
So which is worse: That the rabbi said this, or that my brother, who I like to think is an intelligent human being, believed it enough to call me (long distance) for the first time evar?
I wonder if when we still get marred, B doesn't convert, and he doesn't die in a year...will my brother finally realize that these rabbis he so blindly follows are full of shit?
My response you ask? I burst out laughing when he said that, since I thought it was going to be a him-cutting-me-off speech and it took me completely off guard. And I tried to calmly explain to him that it didn't make me mad, because I didn't believe that he would know that, cause how could he know that? If I told him that unless he converted to atheism he would die within a year, he would laugh at me too because how would I know that either? And that while I completely am ok with him being religious if that's what he wants to do, that I don't think religion is for me.
And then he asked me about other stuff going on in my life. I told him about trying to adopt a dog (we filled out another dog application today for a basset hound rescue place, although we haven't completely given up on the other dog and will call them again tomorrow). He asked what I would do with my cats, since he thinks cats and dogs are natural enemies. I explained that that's not true, plenty of dogs get along with cats, we're just going to try and specifically look for one that does. I asked him about what it's like staying in Israel during the war, and he tells me that there are soldiers everywhere, but that no one would ever send a missile to the old city, where he is staying. I hope he's right. He comes back next week, and I told him to be safe. It was a pretty awkward, but overall not horrible conversation.
Eerily, and I never noticed this before (probably because we never talked on the phone before), my brother on the phone sounds a LOT like my dad on the phone. Like, not the way he speaks (and I know it was my brother, cause he has a very different speech pattern than my dad). But the voice is almost exactly the same. It definitely threw me off balance once or twice.
What was so important you may ask? That was my question too...was something on his mind? Why was he calling me for the first time from a different country? (and he's coming back next week, it's not like he's going to be there all year).
He started going on about how he went to a lecture with a very important rabbi, and was talking to the rabbi afterwards about me. And the rabbi said something that he had to tell me, and he didn't want to tell me, cause he thought it would make me very mad, etc. etc.
Of course I thought that the Rabbi had told him that he couldn't ever talk to me again. So I get all nervous as I hate confrontation.
Then more preamble: He wants to tell me this thing the rabbi said, but I have to agree to listen to all of it first and try not to get mad. He wants to tell me 2 things first: 1. My parents did not put him up to this, and he never talked to them about me at all and 2. That he didn't want to make me mad, but he felt that he had to tell me this, even though he didn't want to.
And what did this Rabbi say that was so important my little brother called me for the first time ever, from a different country?
The Rabbi said that one of three things will happen with me and B. Either B will fully convert to Judiasm, or we will break up, or B will die within a year.
Let me repeat that. A big fancy Rabbi in Israel told my little brother that unless his big sister's fiance converts or breaks up with his sister, his sister's fiance will die within a year.
I shit you not.
So which is worse: That the rabbi said this, or that my brother, who I like to think is an intelligent human being, believed it enough to call me (long distance) for the first time evar?
I wonder if when we still get marred, B doesn't convert, and he doesn't die in a year...will my brother finally realize that these rabbis he so blindly follows are full of shit?
My response you ask? I burst out laughing when he said that, since I thought it was going to be a him-cutting-me-off speech and it took me completely off guard. And I tried to calmly explain to him that it didn't make me mad, because I didn't believe that he would know that, cause how could he know that? If I told him that unless he converted to atheism he would die within a year, he would laugh at me too because how would I know that either? And that while I completely am ok with him being religious if that's what he wants to do, that I don't think religion is for me.
And then he asked me about other stuff going on in my life. I told him about trying to adopt a dog (we filled out another dog application today for a basset hound rescue place, although we haven't completely given up on the other dog and will call them again tomorrow). He asked what I would do with my cats, since he thinks cats and dogs are natural enemies. I explained that that's not true, plenty of dogs get along with cats, we're just going to try and specifically look for one that does. I asked him about what it's like staying in Israel during the war, and he tells me that there are soldiers everywhere, but that no one would ever send a missile to the old city, where he is staying. I hope he's right. He comes back next week, and I told him to be safe. It was a pretty awkward, but overall not horrible conversation.
Eerily, and I never noticed this before (probably because we never talked on the phone before), my brother on the phone sounds a LOT like my dad on the phone. Like, not the way he speaks (and I know it was my brother, cause he has a very different speech pattern than my dad). But the voice is almost exactly the same. It definitely threw me off balance once or twice.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
My relatives are awesome.
So all this stuff about my extended family never accepting me, etc, etc, that my dad keeps laying on me. What if that's all in his head? Yeah, I see how that may be true for his generation, but everyone in my generation has been super nice so far.
My charedi cousin wrote back to my email telling her about me and B:
Wow! you've been busy!!
I can't believe that you are engaged (nope, your parents def. did not say a word to mine or anyone else in the fam cuz i'm sure we would have heard something) I had no idea, what a surprise.
Its so sad that we won't be by your wedding. Its probably hard not to have your parents attend the wedding.
Is D gonna coming, E, or just friends from *city I live in* (i mean 15 people and all?)
wow.
[Stuff about how she is pregnant again and is due any day/her husband graduating/etc]
Of course we will look you up when we are backpacking across the country...we don't know anyone else is *city*!!!! The trip to Europe sounds cool--I guess a small wedding allows you to save up money.
So...What does B do? are his folks nice? (nice enough to take you on a trip to europe!) What does his parents think about a jewish gal? Did he grow up with any religion or were his parents also atheist?
Anyways, the dog looks really cute!! I hope it works out (even though I am completely terrified of all animals, but is still looks cute). send pictures of all you guys. I'll keep u updated on the birth (god willing) and any other exciting news.
[Stuff about all her brothers and sisters and their news]
Thats the scoop here!
take it easy!
=) *Cousin*
<3
My charedi cousin wrote back to my email telling her about me and B:
Wow! you've been busy!!
I can't believe that you are engaged (nope, your parents def. did not say a word to mine or anyone else in the fam cuz i'm sure we would have heard something) I had no idea, what a surprise.
Its so sad that we won't be by your wedding. Its probably hard not to have your parents attend the wedding.
Is D gonna coming, E, or just friends from *city I live in* (i mean 15 people and all?)
wow.
[Stuff about how she is pregnant again and is due any day/her husband graduating/etc]
Of course we will look you up when we are backpacking across the country...we don't know anyone else is *city*!!!! The trip to Europe sounds cool--I guess a small wedding allows you to save up money.
So...What does B do? are his folks nice? (nice enough to take you on a trip to europe!) What does his parents think about a jewish gal? Did he grow up with any religion or were his parents also atheist?
Anyways, the dog looks really cute!! I hope it works out (even though I am completely terrified of all animals, but is still looks cute). send pictures of all you guys. I'll keep u updated on the birth (god willing) and any other exciting news.
[Stuff about all her brothers and sisters and their news]
Thats the scoop here!
take it easy!
=) *Cousin*
<3
argh
I called the shelter again (second call, first was on Monday). She asked what dog I had put in an application for, and then was like "we've had a lot of applications over the past week, we are making our way through them dog by dog, we will give you a call when we know."
I went to petfinder.com and looked up this shelter, and there were a few new dogs up there, and also less dogs then there were before (yesterday they had 18 up, today there are 15 and at least 3 of them are new). The one we wanted is still up there. So at least they haven't adopted him to someone else. I feel like I'm getting the runaround though. :(
Tomorrow morning we have a vet appointment for the kitties, so if we haven't heard back yet I'm going to ask the person at the vet's front desk if anyone has called to check on our vet reference.
I went to petfinder.com and looked up this shelter, and there were a few new dogs up there, and also less dogs then there were before (yesterday they had 18 up, today there are 15 and at least 3 of them are new). The one we wanted is still up there. So at least they haven't adopted him to someone else. I feel like I'm getting the runaround though. :(
Tomorrow morning we have a vet appointment for the kitties, so if we haven't heard back yet I'm going to ask the person at the vet's front desk if anyone has called to check on our vet reference.
Wedding Picnic Menu (For 23 guests including us)
From a really really awesome Italian market that specializes in freakin awesome cheese:
Cheese platter: A selection of our most popular imported cheeses with pepperoni and sopressatta, accompanied by dried & fresh fruits, nuts and one of our famous cheese spreads. All trays include sliced bread & cracker assortment.
Medium $99.99
Signature Bites: An assortment of 5 different petite artisan sandwich rolls presented with Turkey & brie, roast beef & Swiss, tuna salad, tomato & mozzarella, and Italian meat & cheeses “Taste the art of sandwich making” $6.99 per person * 23 people = $161.00
Crudité Platter: Fresh garden vegetables with pesto aioli Medium $54.99
Fresh Fruit Platter: Served with caramel mascarpone fondue Medium $59.99
Chocolate Ganache: A very rich chocolate cake layered And iced with rich chocolate ganache, decorated with delicate Chocolate curls: $25
Strawberry Shortcake: Light Italian cake layered with a blend of real whipped cream and succulent strawberries. Smothered with dollops of real fresh whipped cream and topped with fresh choice strawberries: $25
Total: $426 + $50 delivery and set up fee + taxes (not sure yet) + $100 tip (you still tip 15-20% when there is a delivery fee, right? I mean they have to drive 40 minutes to get there...): ~$600
Total spent on wedding so far (including venue, dress, veil and food): $800
Still need to purchase: White Gold Rings ($600?), Photographer friend(??), Wedding License ($80), Candles($20?), More thrift store plates($20?), cups/drinks($30?), shoes($75?), clothes for B($100?), stamp + cards + stamps + envelopes for the invitations($30?).
Ok maybe my idea of keeping the wedding under $1000 was a little silly, but I bet I can still keep it under $2000!
Cheese platter: A selection of our most popular imported cheeses with pepperoni and sopressatta, accompanied by dried & fresh fruits, nuts and one of our famous cheese spreads. All trays include sliced bread & cracker assortment.
Medium $99.99
Signature Bites: An assortment of 5 different petite artisan sandwich rolls presented with Turkey & brie, roast beef & Swiss, tuna salad, tomato & mozzarella, and Italian meat & cheeses “Taste the art of sandwich making” $6.99 per person * 23 people = $161.00
Crudité Platter: Fresh garden vegetables with pesto aioli Medium $54.99
Fresh Fruit Platter: Served with caramel mascarpone fondue Medium $59.99
Chocolate Ganache: A very rich chocolate cake layered And iced with rich chocolate ganache, decorated with delicate Chocolate curls: $25
Strawberry Shortcake: Light Italian cake layered with a blend of real whipped cream and succulent strawberries. Smothered with dollops of real fresh whipped cream and topped with fresh choice strawberries: $25
Total: $426 + $50 delivery and set up fee + taxes (not sure yet) + $100 tip (you still tip 15-20% when there is a delivery fee, right? I mean they have to drive 40 minutes to get there...): ~$600
Total spent on wedding so far (including venue, dress, veil and food): $800
Still need to purchase: White Gold Rings ($600?), Photographer friend(??), Wedding License ($80), Candles($20?), More thrift store plates($20?), cups/drinks($30?), shoes($75?), clothes for B($100?), stamp + cards + stamps + envelopes for the invitations($30?).
Ok maybe my idea of keeping the wedding under $1000 was a little silly, but I bet I can still keep it under $2000!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
coming out to more relatives, other stuff
Still haven't heard back about the dog. I called the shelter yesterday afternoon to ask about the status of our application and to enthusiastically remind them that we are still interested in adopting him. The lady on the phone told me they got 35 applications over the weekend, so they haven't had time to go over all of them yet, including ours. I'm a bit discouraged, since there are only around 20 dogs at the shelter, so that might mean we are competing with other families for this same dog (although they also have cats, and when we were there 4 other families was looking at this one collie that everyone loved, so maybe everyone else applied for that collie...). We might hear back from them today or tomorrow.
I'm also recently dealt with 'coming out' about marrying B to some new people, to varying degrees. I recently found a whole bunch of second cousins, and my 71 year old great aunt, on facebook. My facebook says I'm engaged to B, and has pictures of me and B all over the place, including one or two in front of a christmas tree.
My great aunt was like "I think facebook just told me you are engaged, mazel tov, let me know if that is true." So I wrote back and told her that I am indeed engaged, that I getting married in a really small wedding of 15 people which is why she isn't invited, and that we are using the money we saved to travel to europe this summer. White lies. (We're not have a small wedding to save money, and certainly not for our Europe trip, which the in-laws are paying for. We're having a small wedding because we hate large groups of people, we only want people we actually care about to be there, and since we assume the vast majority of my relatives would not come if invited, we are not going to invite a whole slew of B's relatives either cause that would just make me sad)(ok, also we are poor, and we want to be able to have our wedding the way we want to, so we have decided not to accept money from B's parents for the wedding and mine certainly arn't offering any).
I didn't mention that he isn't jewish. I decided that, at least for my grandparent's generation, there's no need for me to tell them that unless they specifically ask. It's not that I'm ashamed....it's that this great aunt is the sister of my grandmother, the non-dead one. I haven't been on speaking terms with this grandmother for about 5 years, since she knows I am not religious, and she kept calling me to lecture me about how I'm not religious enough, how my mom (her daughter) is a terrible mother, how I'm going to fail at life and never get married, how education is all nice and good but I'm not focusing on the important things in life, how I must have been secretly abused as a child to turn out this way because there's no other reason to not be religious, etc. So eventually I told her off, and she stopped calling. I have no desire to deal with that shit again.
Then yesterday, my cousin emailed me out of the blue. I've blogged about this cousin before- married at 19 to a guy she had known for 6 weeks. About 6 months after she got married we met up at a family event, and we had a talk about sex and stuff, and I revealed to her that I had...you know...had some of it, wherein she revealed that she was still nervous about undressing when her husband was around, and that her rabbi told her she couldn't use birth control until she had given birth to both a girl and a boy. She is now 22, has 2 boys, and is expecting a third child in a month or two.
Anyways, she sent me pictures of her boys and asked what was going on in my life, so I decided to continue with my policy for people of my generation, and told her the truth. That I'm getting married to B, he isn't jewish, my parents are very upset about it and arn't coming to the wedding and are barely talking to me now. I also updated her on various other aspects of life. I told her my parents are not telling other people in the family about our engagement because he is not Jewish, and asked that she please not tell her parents about it at this time, because I think my mom would be very upset if they found out (her mom is my mom's sister).
So yeah I guess that is now 3 first cousins who know about it (out of 12 first cousins). The first two were very cool about it, so hopefully that trend will continue. Although this particular cousin is part of the most religious wing of my family (her family is charedi, everyone else is modern orthodox), so she might not react as nicely. But who knows? I mean, really, what do I have to lose? It's not like we have a very close relationship now, so at worst the status quo will continue, and at best she will be cool about it.
I'm also recently dealt with 'coming out' about marrying B to some new people, to varying degrees. I recently found a whole bunch of second cousins, and my 71 year old great aunt, on facebook. My facebook says I'm engaged to B, and has pictures of me and B all over the place, including one or two in front of a christmas tree.
My great aunt was like "I think facebook just told me you are engaged, mazel tov, let me know if that is true." So I wrote back and told her that I am indeed engaged, that I getting married in a really small wedding of 15 people which is why she isn't invited, and that we are using the money we saved to travel to europe this summer. White lies. (We're not have a small wedding to save money, and certainly not for our Europe trip, which the in-laws are paying for. We're having a small wedding because we hate large groups of people, we only want people we actually care about to be there, and since we assume the vast majority of my relatives would not come if invited, we are not going to invite a whole slew of B's relatives either cause that would just make me sad)(ok, also we are poor, and we want to be able to have our wedding the way we want to, so we have decided not to accept money from B's parents for the wedding and mine certainly arn't offering any).
I didn't mention that he isn't jewish. I decided that, at least for my grandparent's generation, there's no need for me to tell them that unless they specifically ask. It's not that I'm ashamed....it's that this great aunt is the sister of my grandmother, the non-dead one. I haven't been on speaking terms with this grandmother for about 5 years, since she knows I am not religious, and she kept calling me to lecture me about how I'm not religious enough, how my mom (her daughter) is a terrible mother, how I'm going to fail at life and never get married, how education is all nice and good but I'm not focusing on the important things in life, how I must have been secretly abused as a child to turn out this way because there's no other reason to not be religious, etc. So eventually I told her off, and she stopped calling. I have no desire to deal with that shit again.
Then yesterday, my cousin emailed me out of the blue. I've blogged about this cousin before- married at 19 to a guy she had known for 6 weeks. About 6 months after she got married we met up at a family event, and we had a talk about sex and stuff, and I revealed to her that I had...you know...had some of it, wherein she revealed that she was still nervous about undressing when her husband was around, and that her rabbi told her she couldn't use birth control until she had given birth to both a girl and a boy. She is now 22, has 2 boys, and is expecting a third child in a month or two.
Anyways, she sent me pictures of her boys and asked what was going on in my life, so I decided to continue with my policy for people of my generation, and told her the truth. That I'm getting married to B, he isn't jewish, my parents are very upset about it and arn't coming to the wedding and are barely talking to me now. I also updated her on various other aspects of life. I told her my parents are not telling other people in the family about our engagement because he is not Jewish, and asked that she please not tell her parents about it at this time, because I think my mom would be very upset if they found out (her mom is my mom's sister).
So yeah I guess that is now 3 first cousins who know about it (out of 12 first cousins). The first two were very cool about it, so hopefully that trend will continue. Although this particular cousin is part of the most religious wing of my family (her family is charedi, everyone else is modern orthodox), so she might not react as nicely. But who knows? I mean, really, what do I have to lose? It's not like we have a very close relationship now, so at worst the status quo will continue, and at best she will be cool about it.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
In happier dog-related news
After months of talking about it, me and B went to the dog shelter on Friday and met this cutie:
He is a beagle/basset hound mix (a bagel!). He's small like a beagle, but also a bit longer like a basset, and has a gorgeous bassety face. His ears are kinda halfway between beagle and basset. He is 5 years old, and was found on the side of the road and taken to this shelter. It turns out that this was the shelter were he was originally adopted out from, and they still had the info for the owners. When they called the owners, the owners said the dog had 'ran away' and surrendered him to the shelter.
Any good scent hound owner knows they can't really be let off leash without extensive training, because they will find something interesting to smell, wander off, and get lost. And why just surrender him to the shelter if he did? It probably means they were bad dog owners, and maybe even abandoned him on the side of the road. :( I don't know why though, he is such a sweetie, and was really quiet and well behaved when we met him. I don't understand pet owners who can just throw out animals like trash. :(
We put in an application and will find out tomorrow or Tuesday if we can take him home. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high, as I read one review of this shelter that says that someone applied for a dog and they adopted the dog out to another family like a day later, and didn't even inform them until they called the shelter 2 days later. But we have our kitties up to date on their shots, neutered/spayed, and our landlord has given us permission for a dog, so hopefully it will work out. I really really like this dog, so I really hope we get him. I've been reading all about how to handle dogs, teach them commands, take them on walks, and introduce them to kitties. We will most likely crate him for a few months at first when we leave the house, cause I don't want to come home to dead kitties.
We are thinking of naming him Moody (since he looks moody, after hank and mad eye moody). Or maybe Archimedes.
He is a beagle/basset hound mix (a bagel!). He's small like a beagle, but also a bit longer like a basset, and has a gorgeous bassety face. His ears are kinda halfway between beagle and basset. He is 5 years old, and was found on the side of the road and taken to this shelter. It turns out that this was the shelter were he was originally adopted out from, and they still had the info for the owners. When they called the owners, the owners said the dog had 'ran away' and surrendered him to the shelter.
Any good scent hound owner knows they can't really be let off leash without extensive training, because they will find something interesting to smell, wander off, and get lost. And why just surrender him to the shelter if he did? It probably means they were bad dog owners, and maybe even abandoned him on the side of the road. :( I don't know why though, he is such a sweetie, and was really quiet and well behaved when we met him. I don't understand pet owners who can just throw out animals like trash. :(
We put in an application and will find out tomorrow or Tuesday if we can take him home. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high, as I read one review of this shelter that says that someone applied for a dog and they adopted the dog out to another family like a day later, and didn't even inform them until they called the shelter 2 days later. But we have our kitties up to date on their shots, neutered/spayed, and our landlord has given us permission for a dog, so hopefully it will work out. I really really like this dog, so I really hope we get him. I've been reading all about how to handle dogs, teach them commands, take them on walks, and introduce them to kitties. We will most likely crate him for a few months at first when we leave the house, cause I don't want to come home to dead kitties.
We are thinking of naming him Moody (since he looks moody, after hank and mad eye moody). Or maybe Archimedes.
Sent
Just sent to my dad a slightly modified version of draft 3.
New Years Resolution: Don't waste as much energy this year being angry at my family.
New Years Resolution: Don't waste as much energy this year being angry at my family.
Draft 3
ETA: I'VE EDITED THIS POST TO REFLECT THE LETTER AS I SENT IT TO MY PARENTS
Dear Abba and Mom,
B and I have read over your last message carefully, and given it full thought. While we both very much appreciate your effort to try and find a solution that would make everyone happy, conversion is not a step we are willing to take.
Perhaps in my effort to spare your feelings and not insult your belief system, I have been a bit unclear about my beliefs. This seems to have led to some confusion on your part. So here it is: While we completely respect your decision to be orthodox jews, and would not impose our beliefs on anyone else, we ourselves do not want to be a part of any organized religion. We have both come to this decision after years of thinking about and debating different aspects of religion (independently, before we met each other). B and I are atheists, not agnostics. We are not religious, not because we are lazy or think religion is too hard, or don't think it's a big deal. We are not religious because we think organized religion is wrong, and harmful, and we do not want to be a part of it. For instance, one way in which we think religion is harmful is that it makes otherwise good people (like you and mom) place your community over an honest and open relationship with your children. Another way is that you seem to believe that if we don't join your religion then there is no way you can have a relationship with us. But from our perspective, we see no reason why you can't do both- be religious and have a relationship with us.
I'm telling you this not to insult your beliefs, but to clarify why converting would very much be a very big deal for us. Having B convert would be a larger compromise than we are willing to make. Not only to us as individuals, for we would be compromising a very important part of our identity. But also to B's family, who have always been very warm to us. Imagine if B's mom insisted that I undergo a sham conversion to catholicism in order to have a relationship with them; wouldn't you be very hurt by such a sham, even though you know I don't believe in it? B's mother has very strong religious convictions, and has already been hurt by the knowledge that B will never be religious, just as you have been hurt by the knowledge that I will never be religious. The difference is that she has still maintained a close relationship with B, and has welcomed me warmly into their family, because she cares more about B as a person then about B's religion. We would not want to damage our relationship with her after she has treated us so kindly.
Even if we were willing to go through with this (which we are not), it would not magically fix the relationship between us and you. We have both been very hurt by your refusal to meet B and by the way you have handled this situation. You don't seem to realize how hurtful and insulting some of the things you have written to us have been- for instance, in my last email I wrote to you asking for a more honest and open relationship, and you replied by asking us to put on some elaborate hoax conversion in order to be accepted into the family. This makes it seem to us as if your love is conditional upon such a hoax. How would you feel if I asked you to lie to everyone and tell them you were in atheist in order to be accepted into my family? Religious beliefs are not something you can force upon other people.
And how would that further your aims? You clearly want me and my future kids to have some kind of jewish identity- but how would lying to a rabbi, tricking him into allowing B to convert, lying to all our relatives, and going through with this insincere conversion achieve that goal? B and I are not going to change our stance about religion. An insincere conversion isn't even considered a valid conversion in your religion. Our kids would be halachicly jewish either way. We will still raise our children without organized religion, and allow them to join or not join any religion they would like.
We have discussed the matter in depth, and these are the compromises we are willing to make: We will be getting married on May 17th 2009. We are having the wedding on this day, which is a Sunday after lag ba'omer, so that you can come if you choose. What we plan to do for our wedding ceremony is exchange vows that we have written ourselves, and then have our guests speak about us before we all sign the marriage license, with the guests as witnesses. We will not have an officiant, as we are getting a 'self uniting' marriage license.
I know that it is important to you that I maintain some type of Jewish identity, which is why you came up with this conversion idea. So this is what I propose: While I am not willing to have a religious jewish wedding ceremony, since I disagree with so many things about it (as you might recall from all the fights we had when I was engaged to A), I would be willing to incorporate some jewish cultural traditions into our wedding ceremony. For instance, we will be happy to exchange the vows we have written under a chuppah if you lend us one. We will get kosher food for you and/or Mom if you decide to attend.
Furthermore, in the future, if you ever decide to welcome B and me into your life (even if you decide not to come to our wedding) then I will try to forget the extremely hurtful way in which you have treated us over the past few years, and to have a relationship with you. We will be happy to dress appropriately and keep the laws of kasharut, etc, for any time we are under your roof. You can have a relationship with our future children, and we could visit for some of the more secular jewish holidays, such as channukah, so that our children have a sense of their Jewish cultural heritage. We would be happy for them to learn the history of the Jewish people, and of their own family history on my side. However we will not accept any attempts from you or anyone else to 'do kiruv' on them and to persuade them to be religious.
If you feel that inviting us both to family events would be too much strain, and that you can't accept B into the family unless he converts, then that is your choice, and we will have to go our separate ways. How the other members of our extended family decides to treat us is up to them, and we will deal with them individually. I hope you understand that if you refuse to meet B I am not willing to go behind his back and allow you to have a relationship with our future children.
I hope you will consider what I have said, as this is as far a I am willing to go. While I would love to have a relationship with you, this is much higher of a price than I am willing to pay for one, as it would compromise my and B's very strong beliefs. I hope you will be willing to think about ways in which we can have a relationship with each other, without either of us trying to impose our beliefs on each other. In fact, I think the best possible way for us to have a relationship may be if neither of us ever discusses religion at all, as it seems that every time we do it causes too many hurt feelings on both sides.
Let me know what you think, and feel free to take as much time as you need to think about it. Even if you decide you still can't have a relationship with B now, if at any point in the future you change your mind, we will be happy to welcome you into our family.
With Love,
Abandoning Eden
Dear Abba and Mom,
B and I have read over your last message carefully, and given it full thought. While we both very much appreciate your effort to try and find a solution that would make everyone happy, conversion is not a step we are willing to take.
Perhaps in my effort to spare your feelings and not insult your belief system, I have been a bit unclear about my beliefs. This seems to have led to some confusion on your part. So here it is: While we completely respect your decision to be orthodox jews, and would not impose our beliefs on anyone else, we ourselves do not want to be a part of any organized religion. We have both come to this decision after years of thinking about and debating different aspects of religion (independently, before we met each other). B and I are atheists, not agnostics. We are not religious, not because we are lazy or think religion is too hard, or don't think it's a big deal. We are not religious because we think organized religion is wrong, and harmful, and we do not want to be a part of it. For instance, one way in which we think religion is harmful is that it makes otherwise good people (like you and mom) place your community over an honest and open relationship with your children. Another way is that you seem to believe that if we don't join your religion then there is no way you can have a relationship with us. But from our perspective, we see no reason why you can't do both- be religious and have a relationship with us.
I'm telling you this not to insult your beliefs, but to clarify why converting would very much be a very big deal for us. Having B convert would be a larger compromise than we are willing to make. Not only to us as individuals, for we would be compromising a very important part of our identity. But also to B's family, who have always been very warm to us. Imagine if B's mom insisted that I undergo a sham conversion to catholicism in order to have a relationship with them; wouldn't you be very hurt by such a sham, even though you know I don't believe in it? B's mother has very strong religious convictions, and has already been hurt by the knowledge that B will never be religious, just as you have been hurt by the knowledge that I will never be religious. The difference is that she has still maintained a close relationship with B, and has welcomed me warmly into their family, because she cares more about B as a person then about B's religion. We would not want to damage our relationship with her after she has treated us so kindly.
Even if we were willing to go through with this (which we are not), it would not magically fix the relationship between us and you. We have both been very hurt by your refusal to meet B and by the way you have handled this situation. You don't seem to realize how hurtful and insulting some of the things you have written to us have been- for instance, in my last email I wrote to you asking for a more honest and open relationship, and you replied by asking us to put on some elaborate hoax conversion in order to be accepted into the family. This makes it seem to us as if your love is conditional upon such a hoax. How would you feel if I asked you to lie to everyone and tell them you were in atheist in order to be accepted into my family? Religious beliefs are not something you can force upon other people.
And how would that further your aims? You clearly want me and my future kids to have some kind of jewish identity- but how would lying to a rabbi, tricking him into allowing B to convert, lying to all our relatives, and going through with this insincere conversion achieve that goal? B and I are not going to change our stance about religion. An insincere conversion isn't even considered a valid conversion in your religion. Our kids would be halachicly jewish either way. We will still raise our children without organized religion, and allow them to join or not join any religion they would like.
We have discussed the matter in depth, and these are the compromises we are willing to make: We will be getting married on May 17th 2009. We are having the wedding on this day, which is a Sunday after lag ba'omer, so that you can come if you choose. What we plan to do for our wedding ceremony is exchange vows that we have written ourselves, and then have our guests speak about us before we all sign the marriage license, with the guests as witnesses. We will not have an officiant, as we are getting a 'self uniting' marriage license.
I know that it is important to you that I maintain some type of Jewish identity, which is why you came up with this conversion idea. So this is what I propose: While I am not willing to have a religious jewish wedding ceremony, since I disagree with so many things about it (as you might recall from all the fights we had when I was engaged to A), I would be willing to incorporate some jewish cultural traditions into our wedding ceremony. For instance, we will be happy to exchange the vows we have written under a chuppah if you lend us one. We will get kosher food for you and/or Mom if you decide to attend.
Furthermore, in the future, if you ever decide to welcome B and me into your life (even if you decide not to come to our wedding) then I will try to forget the extremely hurtful way in which you have treated us over the past few years, and to have a relationship with you. We will be happy to dress appropriately and keep the laws of kasharut, etc, for any time we are under your roof. You can have a relationship with our future children, and we could visit for some of the more secular jewish holidays, such as channukah, so that our children have a sense of their Jewish cultural heritage. We would be happy for them to learn the history of the Jewish people, and of their own family history on my side. However we will not accept any attempts from you or anyone else to 'do kiruv' on them and to persuade them to be religious.
If you feel that inviting us both to family events would be too much strain, and that you can't accept B into the family unless he converts, then that is your choice, and we will have to go our separate ways. How the other members of our extended family decides to treat us is up to them, and we will deal with them individually. I hope you understand that if you refuse to meet B I am not willing to go behind his back and allow you to have a relationship with our future children.
I hope you will consider what I have said, as this is as far a I am willing to go. While I would love to have a relationship with you, this is much higher of a price than I am willing to pay for one, as it would compromise my and B's very strong beliefs. I hope you will be willing to think about ways in which we can have a relationship with each other, without either of us trying to impose our beliefs on each other. In fact, I think the best possible way for us to have a relationship may be if neither of us ever discusses religion at all, as it seems that every time we do it causes too many hurt feelings on both sides.
Let me know what you think, and feel free to take as much time as you need to think about it. Even if you decide you still can't have a relationship with B now, if at any point in the future you change your mind, we will be happy to welcome you into our family.
With Love,
Abandoning Eden
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Draft 2
Dear Abba,
B and I have read over your last message carefully, and given it full thought. While we both very much appreciate your effort to try and find a solution that would make both of us happy, this is not a step we are willing to take at this juncture.
I'm not an atheist because I am lazy or I think religion is too hard, or I don't think it's a big deal. I think organized religion is wrong, and harmful. I have long agonized over philosophical and religious arguments over god, and have come to the conclusion that god probably doesn't exist, and if s/he did, organized religion would still be wrong and harmful. For instance, one way in which it is harmful is this very situation; the orthodox jewish community is so insistent on conformity, that you have decided that your religious identity is more important than having an honest and good relationship with your daughter.
Having B convert would be a larger compromise than I am willing to make, and it would very much be a big deal. Not only to us as individuals, for we would be compromising a very important part of our identity. But also to B's family, who have always been very warm to us. Imagine if B's mom insisted that I undergo a sham conversion to catholicism in order to have a relationship with them; wouldn't you be very hurt by such a sham, even though you know I don't believe in it? B's mother has very strong religious convictions, and has already been hurt by the knowledge that B will never be religious, just have you have been hurt by the knowledge that I will never be religious. The difference is that she has still maintained a close relationship with B, and has welcomed me warmly into their family, because she cares more about B as a person then about B's religion. We would not want to damage our relationship with her after she has treated us so kindly.
Even if we were willing to go through with this, then what? Everything is hunky dory? We're just try to forget that your refused to even meet him for the past 2 years? That your love was conditional on him converting? That I wrote to you asking for a more honest and open relationship, and you replied by asking me to undertake an elaborate hoax so that you can not feel ashamed of me and us in front of your family and your community? You don't seem to realize how much you have hurt me over the past few years, by demonstrating to me that you place your community and your religion over your relationship with me, your daughter.
So we have discussed the matter in depth, and these are the compromises we are willing to make: We will be getting married on May 17th 2009. What we plan to do for our wedding ceremony is exchange vows that we have written ourselves, and then have our guests speak about us before we all sign the marriage license, with the guests as witnesses. We will not have an officiant, as we are getting a 'self uniting' marriage license.
I know that is important to you that I maintain some type of Jewish identity, which is why you came up with this conversion idea. So this is what I propose: While I am not willing to have a religious jewish wedding ceremony, since I disagree with so many things about it (as you might recall from all the fights we had when I was engaged to A), I would be willing to incorporate some jewish cultural traditions into the ceremony. For instance, if you would lend us a chuppah to use during the ceremony, we will be happy to exchange the vows we have written under one. We would also be willing to have B step on a glass at the end of the ceremony.
Furthermore, in the future, if you ever decide to welcome B and me into your life then I will try to forget the extremely hurtful way in which you have treated us over the past few years, and will be happy to have a relationship with you. We will also be happy to dress appropriately and keep the laws of kasharut, etc, for any time we are under your roof. You can have a relationship with our children (who after all will still be Jewish according to halacha), and we would visit for some of the more secular jewish holidays, such as channukah, so that our children have a sense of their jewish cultural heritage. We would be happy for them to learn the history of the Jewish people, and of their own family on my side. However we will not tolerate any attempts to 'do kiruv' on them and to persuade them to be religious.
If you feel that inviting us both to family events would be too much strain, and that you can't accept B into the family unless he converts, then that is your choice, and we will have to go our separate ways. I hope you understand that if you refuse to meet B I can not go behind his back and allow you to have a relationship with our future children. How the other members of our extended family decides to treat us is up to them, and we will deal with them individually. If anyone tries to call you up and argue about the decisions I have made, you can also give them my phone number and ask them to contact me directly. I will happy to talk with any family member and explain the situation.
I hope you will consider what I have said, as this is as far a I am willing to go. While I would like to have a relationship with you, this is much higher of a price than I am willing to pay for one.
With Love,
Abandoning Eden
B and I have read over your last message carefully, and given it full thought. While we both very much appreciate your effort to try and find a solution that would make both of us happy, this is not a step we are willing to take at this juncture.
I'm not an atheist because I am lazy or I think religion is too hard, or I don't think it's a big deal. I think organized religion is wrong, and harmful. I have long agonized over philosophical and religious arguments over god, and have come to the conclusion that god probably doesn't exist, and if s/he did, organized religion would still be wrong and harmful. For instance, one way in which it is harmful is this very situation; the orthodox jewish community is so insistent on conformity, that you have decided that your religious identity is more important than having an honest and good relationship with your daughter.
Having B convert would be a larger compromise than I am willing to make, and it would very much be a big deal. Not only to us as individuals, for we would be compromising a very important part of our identity. But also to B's family, who have always been very warm to us. Imagine if B's mom insisted that I undergo a sham conversion to catholicism in order to have a relationship with them; wouldn't you be very hurt by such a sham, even though you know I don't believe in it? B's mother has very strong religious convictions, and has already been hurt by the knowledge that B will never be religious, just have you have been hurt by the knowledge that I will never be religious. The difference is that she has still maintained a close relationship with B, and has welcomed me warmly into their family, because she cares more about B as a person then about B's religion. We would not want to damage our relationship with her after she has treated us so kindly.
Even if we were willing to go through with this, then what? Everything is hunky dory? We're just try to forget that your refused to even meet him for the past 2 years? That your love was conditional on him converting? That I wrote to you asking for a more honest and open relationship, and you replied by asking me to undertake an elaborate hoax so that you can not feel ashamed of me and us in front of your family and your community? You don't seem to realize how much you have hurt me over the past few years, by demonstrating to me that you place your community and your religion over your relationship with me, your daughter.
So we have discussed the matter in depth, and these are the compromises we are willing to make: We will be getting married on May 17th 2009. What we plan to do for our wedding ceremony is exchange vows that we have written ourselves, and then have our guests speak about us before we all sign the marriage license, with the guests as witnesses. We will not have an officiant, as we are getting a 'self uniting' marriage license.
I know that is important to you that I maintain some type of Jewish identity, which is why you came up with this conversion idea. So this is what I propose: While I am not willing to have a religious jewish wedding ceremony, since I disagree with so many things about it (as you might recall from all the fights we had when I was engaged to A), I would be willing to incorporate some jewish cultural traditions into the ceremony. For instance, if you would lend us a chuppah to use during the ceremony, we will be happy to exchange the vows we have written under one. We would also be willing to have B step on a glass at the end of the ceremony.
Furthermore, in the future, if you ever decide to welcome B and me into your life then I will try to forget the extremely hurtful way in which you have treated us over the past few years, and will be happy to have a relationship with you. We will also be happy to dress appropriately and keep the laws of kasharut, etc, for any time we are under your roof. You can have a relationship with our children (who after all will still be Jewish according to halacha), and we would visit for some of the more secular jewish holidays, such as channukah, so that our children have a sense of their jewish cultural heritage. We would be happy for them to learn the history of the Jewish people, and of their own family on my side. However we will not tolerate any attempts to 'do kiruv' on them and to persuade them to be religious.
If you feel that inviting us both to family events would be too much strain, and that you can't accept B into the family unless he converts, then that is your choice, and we will have to go our separate ways. I hope you understand that if you refuse to meet B I can not go behind his back and allow you to have a relationship with our future children. How the other members of our extended family decides to treat us is up to them, and we will deal with them individually. If anyone tries to call you up and argue about the decisions I have made, you can also give them my phone number and ask them to contact me directly. I will happy to talk with any family member and explain the situation.
I hope you will consider what I have said, as this is as far a I am willing to go. While I would like to have a relationship with you, this is much higher of a price than I am willing to pay for one.
With Love,
Abandoning Eden
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