Things have been a little crazy lately. I've been traveling a lot (a conference in late October, an interview in early November, Thanksgiving, and in a week and a half it's off to the midwest for Christmas at B's parent's house). This means that for the past two months approximately every other or every third week, I've been going on a 3-5 day trip. This has thrown off my whole work routine; it takes me at least a week to 'recover' from these trips and get back into a frame of mind to get some serious work done, and by the time I'm back in that frame of mind, it's time to go somewhere else.
Added on top of that is that I've been waiting to hear back from this job, which is really stressing me out. They told me they would let me know last week or this week, and I've heard nothing, and there's been nothing on my professions' wiki (that keeps track of which jobs have been offered). But I assume that they have offered it to their first choice and are waiting for that person to make a decision.
I'm still stressing out about it. Not because I particularly want this job, but I just want to know if I'm going to be spending a 6th year in grad school or not..if I am, I can relax and not feel so guilty about doing basically no work on my dissertation for the past month or so. If I do get the job, I need to be seriously working my ass off right now. So instead I'm stuck in a limbo where I'm not working as seriously as I would need to be if I got the job, but I'm not able to relax as I would if I hadn't gotten the job.
On top of THAT is regular end of semester madness; I've spent the past 5 days or so grading papers, and tonight my class has it's final which I have to grade as well (and get final grades in).
And all this stress and travel have definitely made me more ornery in general, which has led to some 'work-life spillover' in that I have been picking fights nonstop with B (because he happens to be the only one around to pick fights with). This built up to a huge altercation on Sunday, which involved both of us crying, and then talking for hours about what was bothering each of us and how we can improve our relationship so that we are both happier. One of the reasons I love B is that whenever we fight we end up having these long talks...and actually do things about it. As a result our relationship has actually been improving over time (as opposed to other relationships I've been in, which have always seemed like a slow march towards destruction).
I've now not spoken to either of my parents in a little over a month, since I called to talk about my interview, and my mom went on her whole delusional rant about how if I want to talk to her I can never talk about B. So I've just given up on talking to both my parents at this point.
Me and B are thinking of going to sears or something this weekend and getting a professional photo taken of us, and then framing it and giving it to B's mom for a Christmas present. We'd also get one for our house, and I'm thinking of mailing one to my parents. In a normal family that would be a nice thing...but in this case I'm just pretending my family is normal. And would that actually be a passive aggressive move on my part?