Ahh facebook, the bane of my existence. I now have almost 400 friends on facebook, at least 100-200 of which are people who I grew up with as an orthodox jew. Many of whom are still frum, (as far as I can tell through frequent annoying facebook status updates about religious plans as well as their 'religious preferences' thing).
Anyway, when I got engaged I posted it to my facebook. And, as is traditional in the Jewish community (among others), millions of people I hadn't talked to in years came out of the woodwork to wish me a mazel tov.
But now I end up feeling guilty and weird and dishonest about my marriage. I know many of these people would not be wishing me well if they knew I was marrying someone not Jewish. So it feels like I'm tricking them into wishing me a Mazal tov somehow, by not being completely upfront about the fact that B is not Jewish.
But how do I go about telling people that he isn't Jewish? I don't think it's a huge deal, but I know other people will. So do I make a big facebook stauts post that is like "FYI MY FIANCE IS A GOY!!" I think my non-jewish friends may be a bit confused by that.
I'm definitely not ashamed of B, and I don't want to feel shamed. On the other hand, why do I have to make a big deal out of the fact that I'm marrying someone not jewish, and do I really have to go out of my way to let everyone know, or is it just none of their business? Also, am I overestimating the extent to which people care about my life?
I'm thinking in particular of one girl...raised Satmer but was "OTD" by their standards (although her OTD was MO), my BFF in high school, who I still occasionally keep in touch with (we talk once or twice a year). I know she would never talk to me again if she knew I was marrying someone not Jewish. But I barely speak to her as it is. Should I go out of my way to end my small friendship with her, by making a big deal out of marrying B, or do I just go about life as if everything is normal (which by my standards they are), and figure she will find it out through the grapevine eventually?
It's hard to figure this all out.