Yesterday out of the blue a cousin of mine, D (Who is very close with my parents and goes to their house around once a week, and who visited me right after I got engaged) called to say he was on a business trip, and that he was going to pass my house when he was driving home, and was going to stop by to say hi in about 3 hours.
I immediately went into a cleaning frenzy. Things tend to build up and when people my age stop by I don't care much, but this cousin is 10 years my senior, and seems more 'adult' than I am. I cleaned all the stuff off the coffee table, cleaned the whole kitchen, the bathroom, and then B stopped by on his lunch break and offered to vacuum.
Total mistake vacuuming with Barkley in the house. We put him in his crate before we started, but he started barking his head off like someone was torturing him. After that, over the course of the day he had FOUR accidents after not having an accident in two weeks (since the day after we got him). And that was with taking him out for five walks yesterday (and then 2 more pee breaks right when he had an accident and we caught him in the act)!
My cousin stopped by when B was back at work, and started telling me family news, then talking about his brother (also my cousin) who just got engaged and how he 'missed me at the engagement party' (NOTE: This party was at his house, and he didn't invite me. Neither did anyone else. This is the type of thing I would have definitely been invited to and guilted into attending before dating B).
Then B came home and he changed the subject. B said hi and stayed for a minute or two, but then Barkley was going a little crazy, so B took him out. Once B left my cousin started talking about marriage and how hard it was and who can expect that, etc. He started telling me all these stories about people who dated non jewish people and then broke up with them. And that you can't escape your past, and Frum people grow up with the expectation to get married right away after dating someone, so I should make sure I'm not getting married because of that expectation. Then he talks about how now that he has 3 kids with his wife he realizes even more cultural differences that they have (he grew up in Israel, she grew up in the southern US), etc. And how no, my parents didn't tell him to come talk to me.
So I once again repeated my shpeil about how even though me and B have different backgrounds, we have the same values now, and if you think about it we have very similar backgrounds since we both grew up in very religious households and neither of us believed in the religion. And that my parents seem to be creating a barrier between me and them that doesn't need to be there, why can't we just respect each other's religious beliefs, and just be normal with each other.
Then B came home, and D left to drive the 2 hours to his place after a few minutes. But man, it's getting closer to the wedding (3 months and 11 day to go!) and it's like every couple of weeks I get someone in my family trying to do something about it. First my dad suggesting that that B go through a sham conversion, then my brother telling me B was going to die if he didn't convert or break up with me within a year and now this. What's the next thing they're going to throw at me? I'll keep you updated!
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Then this morning we took Barkley to the vet and he really freaked the fuck out when the vet put a muzzle on him and started examining him. Like screaming and foaming at the mouth and then panting for a good 15 minutes after the exam was over. He weighs 32 pounds (which the doc said is good although it would be ok to gain a few pounds), and is generally in good health, although he has a yeast infection in his ears, so we have to clean them every day for 3 days (we do it once a week anyways) and then give him antibiotic drops in his ears twice a day for the next week. He did NOT like that either, but just tried to run away. The vet also took care of a thorn thing that was stuck in his face (we tried to take it out when we noticed it yesterday, but Barkley kept trying to bite us whenever we went near it). He's ok now though, he's been sleeping on the couch since we got back about 2 hours ago.
Ha! The visit to the vet reminds me of when we take our kids to the doc.
ReplyDeleteSame reaction! Foaming at the mouth, freaking out etc
Various members of my extended family (thankfully NOT my parents) give me that nonsense about my fiancee because he's not American, not white, and not a native English speaker. His friends back in The Old Country give him grief about it too.
ReplyDeleteBut the reality is, aside from that, we get along swimmingly, have the same values and life goals.
Some dogs never get used to the sound of vacuuming, unfortunately. You may have to time your vacuuming for when he's out of the house.
ReplyDeleteOh, eventually they get too deaf to worry about the vacuum cleaner.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I vacuum, something which al the pets hate except one of the guinea pigs, I always announce it first in a very cheerful voice- vacuum! vacuum! vacuum time! And the cats know to walk away pretending that they aren't really leaving because of the scary vacuum, and the dog hides his head in the blankets, and the guinea pig who is scared of the vacuum scuttles into his house, and the guinea pig who likes the vacuum comes up to the side of the cage and wheeks at me. (Or, if I'm just using the dust buster to pick up the poops in the guinea pig cage, she'll follow the dust buster around. Maybe she's expecting it to dispense baby carrots.)
ReplyDeletethe problem you have is not marrying anyone not jewish, the problem you can have in the future is when you have non jewish kids. you are still young and obviously in love, but kids there is no going back, you never know how you would feel in 30 years from now. you probably will never be religious again but the jewish IDENTIDY is very strong and you never know how much it is going to affect you not having jewish kids.
ReplyDeletegood luck and congrats!
1. You will never escape your past if you keep having encounters with your family. If you don't want to hear this "stuff" then you have to cut yourself off.
ReplyDelete2. Welcoming to the world of dog ownership :)
It sucks that your family won't leave you alone about your choices. :( Good luck with them, and definitely keep us updated!
ReplyDeleteIn the beginning, one of you should hold Barkley and give him a few treats while the other vacuums. It's a universal dog-freakout. They just get used to it.
ReplyDelete