One of the wedding guests guests asked if we were registered for gifts. No we're not, but should we be? We both had separate households before moving in together, so right now we already have 2 of everything that I can think of registering for.
This is my list so far of things we don't have that I would like:
A grapefruit spoon
A Wii + Wii fit
A new sleeping bag (the zipper on mine broke)
A bigger tent
A new big frying pan
None of those things are actually necessary- we have a perfectly good (albeit small) tent, our old frying pan which works well even though it's a little beaten up, I can continue eating grapefruit with a regular small spoon, we can use blankets instead of a sleeping bag when camping, and is a wii ever really necessary? So it seems stupid to register for things that we don't really need and don't have room for in our already overcrowded apartment.
Here is the advice I received when I got married 9 years ago and it was the best advice I got.
ReplyDeletePeople want to get you something. Also, they feel bad if they bring nothing. Therefore, you are going to get gifts. If you don't register, you are going to still get a bunch of stuff you don't need or want -- like 10 cruet sets and a bunch of bowls. If you register, even if it feels weird, it makes others more comfortable. Register for stuff you want. Give yourself that gift. Having a beautiful set of knives is a joy. Having a new set of champagne flutes is something you will love on new year's eve. A mandolin, while not useful every day, will make veggies really fun to cook. If there's not enough that you really want, you don't have to keep everything. You can return a bunch for credit and if, for instance Crate and Barrel or Macy's comes out with something you NEED, you have the store credit and can use it.
So, in closing, register for gifts. Seriously!!!
we just got an awesome knife set for christmas from my inlaws, and don't really drink...
ReplyDeletegive me more ideas for things to register for! :)
Gift registry is a new idea to me. I just wikied it, but still need some missing puzzle pieces.
ReplyDeleteHow do you notify all prospective gift benefactors about your wish list? You choose a specific retailer?
I would start by going nuts at REI. Then register for a set of beautiful frying pans and a matching set of pots. You can donate your old and still useable stuff to a family in need. Then you get something fresh and another family gets a gift as well. If I remember correctly, I registered for a set of really nice sheets that there was no way I could afford (probably $99 at the time) and a new set of glasses - we were drinking out of the jelly jar ones that husband bought in college. Basically, a lot of the stuff we got was stuff that grown-ups had. We had both been living with the stuff we bought when we were in our first apartments and it was a good excuse to "grow up" our kitchen. We were still super hesitant about registering for some things and I really wish we had just done it. No one cares what you register for unless every single thing on your registry is hundreds of dollars. People like getting you things you will really use though. Still using the set of plates you've had since undergrad? People love being able to fit it into their budget, so if one plate or set is $20 and they were planning on spending $60, they can buy you 3 sets and someone else can buy 3 and so on. Also, if you like entertaining, get a set of bowls for things like chips and salsa. Every year we have a new years day party, this year we had election parties and we tend to have a few bbqs over the summer. Crate and Barrel has great stuff for this.
ReplyDeleteOverall, HAVE FUN!!!!
product- usually people ask you if you are registered, and then you say "Yes we are registered at ______." Usually you register at one or two stores that has most of the stuff you need (like bed bath and beyond). Then they can go to the store (or online) and look up our names, and they will have them on file along with everything we have registered for that hasn't been bought yet.
ReplyDeleteSheets are a good idea...we only have 2 sets we've been using interchangeably. Thing is, we are only have 21 guests, so registering for a ton of stuff seems kinda silly. Maybe we'll register at Amazon.com or something so we can do it from home.
Amazon.com has a Wedding Registry service. I joked to my fiance that we should register for books.
ReplyDeleteLinens. How old are the linens you're sleeping on? Nothing is nicer then new linens and new fluffy down blankets. Your old ones can be for guests.
ReplyDeleteOh, for pity's sake - sign up for a pair of Waterford crystal goblets and you'll have something to use to toast every anniversary.
ReplyDeleteI echo what Faith said. Also (not that YOUR friends would do this), but registering keeps people from - how shall I say this...well, there's no nice way to say it - committing the unpardonable sin or regifting!
Better to get something you *might* want than a bronzed statue of baby shoes or something. Because I got some WACKY THINGS even though I registered somewhere.
ReplyDeletePeople are weird.
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ReplyDeleteWe should register for cruise excursions, dog walking services, and Vernors.
ReplyDeleteDo we need things? I would contend we don't. Remind me to bring my frying pan from my old apartment.
AE,
ReplyDeleteYou could always make a wish list someplace fun, since you don't really need anything.
I just love going around a store with one of those scan guns and scanning all the things I would like to have! it's really fun. And usually people don't like to come to this kind of celebration empty handed... My family is Italian, so they always do cash in an envelope~ that always works.
congrats and happy wedding!
pf
We're just using the gift list thing as an excuse to "upgrade" - we've already got everyything we need as we've had our own households for long enough, but a lot of our things are quite old and could do with being replaced.
ReplyDeleteAt first I felt really weird about giving people a list of things we wanted, like it was really crass, but sooooo many people asked for a list that I thought, what the heck, it's less hassle, and as people DO want to give you stuff, at least you know you'll end up with stuff you like and the people buying you presents won't have to stress about finding something and hoping you like it.
Oooooh, my wedding is only 64 days away, which means yours is only 65! :-D
You seem to be antimaterialistic, which might be a good thing, but people are going to get you gifts, so you should probably register somehow. If you really don't want anything, you can tell people of a specific charity or something.
ReplyDeleteBut some quality products will really last you the rest of your lives. If you register for a top-quality frying pan, for example, it will serve you well for a long time. Kitchen knives, too. A good sleeping bag is in a different league from some blankets you have. You might want the capacity to have more or more frequent guests as well, so dishes, silverware, tablecloths, guest towels, linens, barware, etc., etc.
And yes on the cruise excursions. We're doing that.
Also, some popular stores (Crate and Barrel, I think) let you return any gifts for cash. So that could come in handy obviously.
Realize that for a lot of people, the wedding itself costs at least as much per guest as the value of the present received. That might be why so much of this seems so crazy. It's really a traditional transfer of wealth from the couple's parents to the couple, via the wedding and guests as intermediaries.
You should definitely register. Like so many people mentioned before, people want to get you gifts. Why not get what you want or need. A great way to get rid of the old stuff and upgrade to new. You can register at Target, they have super cute stuff and they will have the Wii, Wii Fit and camping stuff. You can also register on Amazon and get anything they carry (which is everything and anything). Don't cheat yourself of the one time in your life you get to ask for gifts and actaully get exactly what you want. Think of all the other people you have gotten wedding presents for, just think of it as your turn.
ReplyDelete:)
R
why not ask folks to give a donation to something or plant a tree? there are so many things you can do AE that aren't materialistic.
ReplyDeleteAt weddings people usually give checks instead of gifts anyway.
ReplyDelete