Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Wedding Budget!

Now for something completely wedding budget. As of today I know what pretty much everything will cost, so I can actually figure out how much all this is going to cost us.

I finally talked to the photographer, and she is going to come and shoot for 2-3 hours during the wedding, Shooting + editing +web-quality photos are $500. We can also order photo-quality prints on an individual basis, and mini photo albums with about 25 pages are $50 each. I was thinking of getting 2 mini photo albums, for us and B's parents.

Venue: $86
Food: $550+125 tip=$675
Rings: $475
Photographer: $500 + $100 (optional) for two mini photo albums
Thrift store Plates and Candle Holders: $35
Invitations: $27
wedding license: $90
Dress: $80
Necklace: $40
Hair thing: $15
fancy strapless bra: $50
Shoes: $85
Total: $2258. Already paid: $966

Cost unknown:
Having dress taken in (I estimate $50 at the very most)
clothes for B (Probably ~$150 since he isn't wearing a suit, and he's wearing shoes he already has)
Dog Tuxedo

Estimated total: $2500

I went waaaay over my initial budget of $1500. Yet still, I am throwing a wedding for us and 20 guests for $2500, I think that's pretty farking cheap. Compared with my first engagement and the wedding my parents were going to throw me for 100 guests for $25,000...that's 1/10th the budget for 1/5th the guests, meaning I am spending approximately half of what they would have spent per guest.

AND I get to have the wedding I actually want to have! When I was engaged the first time I was set on having my wedding outside, but my parents talked me out of it, along with pretty much everything else I wanted to do that wasn't standard for a jewish wedding. Music was also a big fight; I knew my parents would never go for the music I really wanted (classic rock), and tried to compromise by asking for classical music or a jewish jam band, but they insisted I go with some shitty jewish keyboard-based band because "how could it be a wedding without jewish dancing."

Now I get to have my outdoors wedding (and in the middle of the woods too!), I get to play all the music I like (we're not having a band, but I'm making a kickass ipod playlist of all our favorite songs), I get to dance with my husband right after we get married, I get to actually SPEAK and say vows while we are getting married, I get to give him a ring when he gives me one, and I get to limit my guests to only my closest and most awesome friends. And I don't have to wear some stupid big poofy white dress and look like a cupcake. My dress is sleeveless and blue! Plus all sorts of other awesomeness that my parents would have never let fly, like my friend painting a live-painting during our ceremony, possible bubble machine, possible wedding flags, mismatching thrift store plates and mismatching picnic tablecloths, Barkley is going to be our best dog...

I gotta say, I'm excited. I think it's going to be an awesome party to mark the beginning of the rest of our awesome life together.

2 and a half months to go!


  1. I hope it's the most wonderful day of your life... so far.

  2. Just don't call them "prayer flags." Call them Tibetan freedom flags or something, for no-god's sake...

  3. Dude I called them 'wedding flags' what's wrong with that? :)

  4. Sounds great, but what's a dog tux? Most dogs look and feel best au naturale.

  5. it's a tuxedo outfit for dogs :)

    we probably won't really get one, but I delight in looking them up on the internets.

  6. Rabbi Yossi Mizrachi - Intermarriage (01/01/08):

  7. "neither shalt thou make marriages with them: thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son. For he will turn away thy son from following Me, that they may serve other gods; so will the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and He will destroy thee quickly." Deuteronomy 7:3-4

  8. Wait, you mean Orthodox Rabbis are opposed to intermarriage?

    Anonymous, why didn't you bring this up sooner? Why didn't they ever make this opposition public before? Why did they hide it?

  9. Don't know why the dog needs a tux, especially since you and B aren't wearing one.

    You can save more money if you have a clothing optional wedding ;)

  10. AE--
    This sounds like a lovely wedding, enjoy!

    To the anonymous poster about intermarriage--
    YOU'RE KIDDING ME! I've never heard that the Torah opposes intermarriage, this is an amazing revelation! They even have shiurim about it?! Please, tell us more!

  11. \begin {tongue in cheek}

    Actually this only referred to the 7 nations (and not others), and outright condemnation of intermarriage on a national scale in Tanach (apart from the 7 nations) occurred in Ezra-Nehemiah as an innovation. In Ezra-Nehemiah, only the kohanim and leaders of the community were condemned.

    Since AE is a woman and not a kohen...

    \end {tongue in cheek}

    AE--how goes the job search and dissertation? Good luck with everything :) and happy upcoming wedding!

  12. You evil daughter, who wishes well to those who sin. Repent while you still have a chance, sitting fasting in sackcloth & ashes.

    "we don't know for sure who is a descendent of which nation" - Jude

    The addition of the Moabite to the 7:
    "3 No one of illegitimate birth shall enter the assembly of the LORD; none of his descendants, even to the tenth generation, shall enter the assembly of the LORD.
    4 An Ammonite or a Moabite shall not enter into the assembly of the LORD; even to the tenth generation shall none of them enter into the assembly of the LORD for ever;" - Deuteronomy Chapter 23

  13. Your jokes may make you feel good now... But know this, those who mock the laws of the LORD Almighty shall be mocked with a great mocking.

    "8 The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way: but the folly of fools is deceit.
    9 Fools make a mock at sin: but among the righteous there is favour." - Proverbs Chapter 14

    "8 They mock and wickedly speak of oppression; They speak from on high.
    9 They have set their mouth against the heavens, And their tongue parades through the earth." - Psalms Chapter 73

    "24 Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded;
    25 But ye have set at nought all my counsel, and would none of my reproof:
    26 I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh;
    27 When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you.
    28 Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me:
    29 For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD:
    30 They would none of my counsel: they despised all my reproof." - Proverbs Chapter 1

  14. wow, you've just inspired me to turn off anonymous posting again!

  15. Also, I'm sure you know that since I don't believe in Torah min hashamayim, and I don't believe in god, quoting the torah at me has about as much of an effect as quoting the prophecies of Nostradamus would.

  16. Hey there,

    I've just stumbled upon this blog tonite through some roundabout fashion and... wow... talk about empathizing. I am going through a very very similar situation right now (just replace orthodox judaism with islam) and, well, it's almost a relief to see that I'm not alone in this interfaith marriage battle... You just happen to be far more gutsy and honest than I, which I admire :)

    Anyway, if you ever want to get in contact with a fellow parentally-oppressed heathen-marrying gal, feel free to drop me a line: saba dot khan at gmail dot com. In the meantime, I'll continue to read this blog as a source of inspiration!

  17. Reveal your email.

    Key: 2+5=7
    Saturday is the day of Saturn

    “Newspapers and internet message boards are full of conspiracy theories as to how Slobodan Milosevic may have met his end, and this Trojan horse exploits interest in the breaking news story in an attempt to fool people into infection.” - Graham Cluley

    Century II:25
    The foreign guard will betray the fortress,
    Hope and shadow of a higher marriage:
    Guard deceived, fort seized in the press,
    Loire, Saone, Rhone, Garonne, mortal outrage. - Nostradamus

    Century V:87
    The year that Saturn is out of bondage,
    In the Frank land he will be inundated by water:
    Of Trojan blood will his marriage be,
    And he will be confined safely be the Spaniards. - Nostradamus

    Century VII:2
    Opened by Mars Arles will not give war,
    the soldiers will be astonished by night.
    Black and white concealing indigo on land
    under the false shadow you will see traitors sounded. - Nostradamus

  18. I mock your Yahweh with a great mocking. I dangle my foreskin in his face as he sleeps, drunk on the stupidity of his followers. I write slander upon his face in black sharpie, denouncing the Almighty Creator as a childish tinkerer and the father of lies.

    You will see your error only when you die and your TV simply turns off.

  19. Wicked one, who speaks the language of the descendents of Amalek. It's written well to destroy thee off the face of the earth. When the LORD condemns thee, will you then say HE sleepeth?

    1 Samuel Chapter 15
    32 Then said Samuel, Bring ye hither to me Agag the king of the Amalekites. And Agag came unto him delicately. And Agag said, Surely the bitterness of death is past.
    33 And Samuel said, As the sword hath made women childless, so shall thy mother be childless among women. And Samuel hewed Agag in pieces before the LORD in Gilgal.

    With a permanent marker will it be written on you!

    The TV is already off for those who've believed and kept the word, they are in eternal bliss in the land of the truth.

    You are like unto the one who boycotts, the maverick who gets cast into prison for his protests, even the bottomless pit.

    Is'nt it written that even Nero foresaw? But ye do not forsee, you let your mouths run wild. You are like the one who speaks against the KING and his Kingdom, saying there is no KING and no Kingdom, but when the guards of the KING come ye hide in the pit. The light will reveal what is in the darkness.

    "At the end of 66, conflict broke out between Greeks and Jews in Jerusalem and Caesarea. According to a Jewish tradition in the Talmud (tractate Gitin 56a-b), Nero went to Jerusalem and told his men to shoot arrows in all four directions. All the arrows landed in the city. He then asked a passing child to repeat the verse he had learned that day. The child responded "I will lay my vengeance upon Edom by the hand of my people Israel" (Ez. 25,14). Nero became terrified, believing that God wanted the Temple in Jerusalem to be destroyed, but would punish him if it was. Nero said, "He desires to lay waste His House and to lay the blame on me," whereupon he fled and converted to Judaism to avoid such retribution." - Wiki

  20. Evil daughter, if thou art truly of the seed of Abraham, how can thou not weep at the company you keep? Thou hast said well, you have abandoned Eden for the temporary & forgotten pleasures of this life. Yea, even quickly forgotten by you but remembered by the LORD Almighty, Master of the Universe.

    Nietzsche also came to believe in falsity & illusion within an illusion. The LORD struck him with delusion.

    "On January 3, 1889, Nietzsche suffered a collapse which seems to have triggered a psychotic break. Two policemen approached him after he caused a public disturbance in the streets of Turin. What actually happened remains unknown, but the often-repeated tale states that Nietzsche witnessed the whipping of a horse at the other end of the Piazza Carlo Alberto, ran to the horse, threw his arms up around the horse’s neck to protect it, and collapsed to the ground...
    "Georges Bataille and René Girard, argue that his breakdown may have been caused by a psychological maladjustment brought on by his philosophy." Wiki

    Similarly do you hold on to the untruth & fall to the ground.

    Is it not writen that those who obey the LORD will be blessed.

    Praise the LORD Almighty!

  21. "Master, you are wonderful!" A student, taking his leave, gazed ardently at the patriarchal sage. "You have renounced riches and comforts to seek God and teach us wisdom!" It was well-known that Bhaduri Mahasaya had forsaken great family wealth in his early childhood, when single-mindedly he entered the yogic path.
    "You are reversing the case!" The saint's face held a mild rebuke. "I have left a few paltry rupees, a few petty pleasures, for a cosmic empire of endless bliss. How then have I denied myself anything? I know the joy of sharing the treasure. Is that a sacrifice? The shortsighted worldly folk are verily the real renunciates! They relinquish an unparalleled divine possession for a poor handful of earthly toys!"
    I chuckled over this paradoxical view of renunciation-one which puts the cap of Croesus on any saintly beggar, whilst transforming all proud millionaires into unconscious martyrs.
    "The divine order arranges our future more wisely than any insurance company." The master's concluding words were the realized creed of his faith. "The world is full of uneasy believers in an outward security. Their bitter thoughts are like scars on their foreheads. The One who gave us air and milk from our first breath knows how to provide day by day for His devotees." - Autobiography of a Yogi Chapter 7


    $13.45 with a top hat. Yes. A top hat. I know B. won't wear a suit, but would he wear a top hat? ;)

    Good grief, please delete those anonymous postings. Look, I'm against intermarriage too, but since that ship has sailed, for Pete's sake, please stop the evangelical rants.

  23. Leviticus Chapter 19
    "16 Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people; neither shalt thou stand idly by the blood of thy neighbour: I am the LORD.
    17 Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thy heart; thou shalt surely rebuke thy neighbour, and not bear sin because of him."

  24. Ezekial 23:19-20

    (19)Yet she increased her whorings, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the whore in the land of Egypt (20)and lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose emission was like that of stallions.

  25. Anonymous,

    You surely know that one of the laws of "rebuking thy neighbor" is that it must be said in a way that they can hear it. What you are doing is pushing AE further away by coming off like a lunatic. Yes, you sound like a wack, and you are representing Ortho Judaism and you are making Ortho Judaism sound insane, evangelical and archaic, which it is not. If intermarriage offends you, either don't comment or comment in a way is respectful of AE's choice, which is not going to change. The name of the blog is Abandoning Eden. Think about that. It is the very stuff you are throwing at her that she is deserting. So you're going to throw more at her? How effective is quoting the Tanach to someone who no longer believes in God or cares about her religious heritage? Exercise your kiruv by being a decent respectful person, while still holding on to what you believe in. You don't need to embrace or support her choice, but if it's not going to change, you need to accept it. That, or only read blogs with which you agree.

    Sorry for the rant, AE, but you know I am Ortho too, and it just exhausts me when fellow Orthos don't think about what they are doing.


    P.S. Ginx, please get back on your meds.

  26. Dude rnt u the fiance?

  27. Yep, Ginx is B, he's just fucking around with this crazy bible quoting guy. :)

  28. Oh me, oh my, who would imagine that a post on your wedding budget would bring on the crazy.

    It sounds like you've done a really great and careful planning job and the price couldn't be better.

    I wish you guys a wonderful and joyous wedding and a happy and healthy marriage :o)

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