I got an emailed invitation to my cousin's wedding, which is in 2 weeks. My parents, who I am not exactly on speaking terms with, will definitely be there. This cousin probably knows about B even though I've never told him straight out- and the invitation he sent me made no mention of B.
a) Write back asking "Is B(my fiance) also invited?" Under the presumption that I would actually show up with B at the wedding if he says yes (I don't know if I have the ovaries to do that, especially given that I don't think B would be willing to wear a kippa and/or meet my parents under these circumstances)
b) not mention B and go to the wedding on my own (it's a 2.5 hour drive, but I can do it)
c) Politely decline the invitation, making up some plausible excuse or
d) Explain the situation and then politely decline
Potential confounding factors: My mother will be there, which will make for intense awkwardness due to that whole "not having a relationship with me" letter she sent a month or two ago. My brother, the not religious one, won't be there. My other brother, the one who told me B will die if we don't break up or he converts, will be there. My other cousins, who have tried to convince me I'm not ready to get married, will be there. I probably won't know anyone there except for my ultra orthodox relatives, most of whom are trying to convince me not to get married, the others who have no idea I'm engaged. I can't imagine any way in which I will have a good and not completely awkward time at this wedding.
Yeah, this should really be a no-brainer, right? And yet...the guy who is getting married is actually pretty cool, we have hung out apart from the rest of our family and I really like him. I know for a fact that he dated a non Jewish girl for 3 years (even though his fiance is orthodox Jewish) and so he might be somewhat sympathetic to my situation. He is a good guy, and why should his wedding be thrown into the middle of my fight with my parents, especially since it seems he still wants me there despite my parents' wishes (cause he contacted me directly as I assume my parents told him they wouldn't pass on an invitation to me).
I really want to go, but I just don't see a way that this won't end in badness.