Monday, March 2, 2009

Bring it on

How are you Abandoning Eden? Missed you yesterday at your grandparents 60th wedding anniversary get together. How is your teaching position going? Let me hear from you, H [Aunt H- Mother's Brother's wife]

Hmmm, well I usually go to family get togethers...could it be, I didn't get invited to this one? And could it be that my parents (Specifically my mother) made some snarky remark when H asked them how I was, along the lines of "well you better ask HER about it."

Well played parents, well played. But as I keep saying, I'm not ashamed.

Dear H,
Hi! How are things with you- are you still working XXX?

It's nice to hear that you missed me. Truth it- I wasn't invited to the thing yesterday. It's a long story, but basically here's the gist of it; I've been living with a man named B for about a year, and we are getting married this May (on the 17th). B is not jewish- he is an atheist (like myself- as you may have figured out, I haven't been religious for the past 10 years). Both of my parents have refused to meet him, and my mother has told me that she can no longer have a relationship with me. They have also stopped inviting me to family events, which is why I wasn't there yesterday (I didn't even know it was happening until you just told me).

I know all this probably comes as a shock to you, but that's the reason I haven't been at family things lately. I haven't gone around announcing the wedding to many people on my side of the family for many reasons, among which are that I'm afraid how people will react, I don't want to upset anyone, and I'd rather not have to endure lectures from people trying to convince me to change my mind- which I won't. However, I've decided to tell people who contact me what the real deal is, so that's why I'm telling you now.

Anyways, that's the big news. Other then that, things are really good. Me and B got a new dog a few months ago- a basset hound mix we named Barkley. He was given up by his previous owner when his house was foreclosed on, and he had to move into a motel. The dog is settling in well with the cats (we have 3), and I've been getting into great shape from walking him.

Things are going well at school too. I taught XXX class for the past 3 semesters, but this semester am not teaching and am auditing two classes- one on feminist theory, and one which is an advanced statistics technique. I'm also working on my dissertation, and it's about 2/3rds done. I expect to graduate after next year, and will be going on the job market in the fall for Professorship jobs. Last year I published a couple of articles, which you can read about on my professional website here:

In May me and B are getting married. B is a college-level writing tutor at a local college (and will be following my career when I move to who knows where to get a job next year). We're having a pretty small wedding with about 18 guests, at a local state park. Then in July we are going on a 2 week trip to Europe with my future in-laws- We're going to spend a few days in Rome, and then we're taking a 10 day cruise that goes to Croatia, Greece for 3 days, Ephesus Turkey, Sicily and then back to Rome.

So that's all that's going on with me. Sorry to lay all this stuff on you all at once, and thanks for thinking of me. Hope all is well with you and C[Husband] and with L[daughter]!

With Love,
Abandoning Eden


  1. Can you make an exception to your rules for your grandparents and send them a card for their 60th? I don't think you need to tell them everything.

  2. Dear Person Who Is Getting a Phd -
    I think it should have read "In May, B. and I are getting married."
    Detective First Class
    Grammar Police
    P.S. - Sending a card is a good idea.

  3. Hope you feel better, but you accomplished nada.

    MOVE ON!

    You have set a path for your life, don't look back. If you keep looking back and trying to get even with your mother you will only ruin your life. It will destroy your marriage and you.

    You have to leave it all behind ...

  4. i'm not trying to accomplish anything other then informing my family members about my decisions...and I succeeded.

    I don't see what this has to do with getting even with my mother, but ok.

  5. I think your response was clear, concise, and appropriate. Did you get any response?


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