So now that the news of my engagement has had a few days to sink in, I wanted to check in and see what's up. Sorry I was so weird on the phone...I was super nervous about telling you. Thank you for being so nice about it...Mom was kind of nasty about it, and I appreciate that you were trying to be nice even though the news probably took you aback.
So I was wondering if there is any possibility at all that you will come to our wedding, with or without Mom? I know the answer is probably no, but I didn't want to assume that without asking you, and I need to know for logistical reasons. If you are 100% sure you will not be coming, then that is ok, but if you have any chance of coming, we will need to change our plans a bit to accommodate you, which we will be happy to do.
Right now we are planning on having a small (less than 20 people) non-religious ceremony somewhere in (city), and then all going out to a restaurant. As of now the restaurant won't be kosher, but you can come to the ceremony and then leave if you want to, or come join us but not eat or we will find some kosher food for you..we will figure out something if you decide to come (We may have it at a BYOB so we can get some kosher wine for you- not sure if you drink or not).
Right now the wedding is tentatively scheduled for Sunday April 19th, which I am pretty sure is during sefirah. I don't know your feelings on that (if it's a non-jewish wedding does that count? There probably won't be any live music since the wedding will be small). But we will consider changing the date if you would come to the wedding.
So please let me know if you might come and if the sefirah thing is a problem ASAP, as next week when we get back to (city) we are going to start looking at venues and trying to book a place so we need to know when to schedule it.
I know you don't agree with my decisions and are probably sad that I didn't turn out to be religious, but I love you, and I would love for you to be at our wedding, despite all our past difference. I know you will probably be facing a lot of pressure from mom and from your religious views to not come to the wedding, but I am still your daughter, and I hope that you will be able to find it in yourself to be happy for me, and possibly join us. Even though I am sad that I have to disappoint you and (especially it seems) mom, I love B very much, I feel very strongly that I want to be married to him, and I am very excited and happy about our decision to get married.
Hope all is well otherwise. I will find out the genetic testing results on August 11th at my follow-up appointment, and will let you know how that turns out.
I also sent an email to my youngest brother, the one who was a douche to me about religious stuff a few weeks back, saying that even if my parents don't come, I hope he will come, and then some of the same stuff I sent to my dad (about sefirah, kosher food, etc). My other brother (the middle one, who is not religious) has already told me he is coming to the wedding.
Since officially setting a date, even though we STILL haven't told his parents (we are telling them tonight at dinner when his sister will be here), we have been looking at wedding stuff online and talking about what we do and do not want to do at the wedding. B (who loves to write) wants to write the ceremony and our vows and stuff (with my input of course) so that we can have a non-religious ceremony that reflects the stuff we want to have, instead of some generic standard thing. Friends of mine have been really awesome, and have been sending me lots of info on non-traditional wedding planning stuff. I've been checking out blogs and am thinking of ordering some books on planning non-conventional weddings. Also, I have been realizing just how many awesome friends I have who I can get to do stuff for the wedding (paid of course, but I would much rather have friends running my wedding than strangers). For instance, I have a photographer friend, a seamstress friend (if we decide to get custom made clothes for any reason), a friend who can do the ceremony, and of course (even though we haven't asked her yet) we want to buy our invitations from quiet girl, who designs awesome cards.