Advantages to my parents not coming to the wedding:
1. Now we can have the wedding on a saturday! Which is really a lot more convinient to everyone except my parents (as like 90% of our guests will be coming from out of town). And I don't have to move the date for sefirah.
2. That's 2 less guests I have to buy food for!
3. I'll probably save a lot of money by not ever visting my parents again
4. No more awkward conversations on the phone with my mom, cause in her words "I have nothing to say, you know my feelings"
5 I get to go to Chicago for Thanksgiving to meet B's entire extended family (his parents have already offered to pay to fly me out), and not feel guilty about not going to my parent's on the one day a year I always have managed to make it out there
6. No more arguing with my dad about Jewish stuff!
7. No more worrying about whether or not my parents will come to my wedding!
And for those naysayers who are all "well your parents didn't disown you, you can still have a relationship with them!" Well, no. I can't. They can't have it both ways. I'm not going to go to their home without my fiance/husband, and I'm not going to call them up to say hi when they are refusing to come to my wedding. They've made their decision.
I still haven't written back to my dad. Eveything I can think of to write is incredibly snarky. My latest draft:
Well, you've made your decision and I've made mine. If you can't see it in yourself to make the "meaningless gesture" of attending your only daughter's wedding, then I can't continue to make "meaningless gestures" such as calling to say hi or coming to visit. You can't have it both ways.
I hope you have a good rest of your life, and that when you die you don't look back upon this day with regret. I also hope for your sake that there is a god, and that judaism is the right religion, and that god cares more about how you followed rituals than how you treated your daughter. Cause otherwise you just ended your relationship with your daughter for fairy tales. Good luck with that.
Also apparently I've inspired a whole debate, complete with crazies, over at Jewish Atheists blog