Wednesday, January 7, 2009

My relatives are awesome.

So all this stuff about my extended family never accepting me, etc, etc, that my dad keeps laying on me. What if that's all in his head? Yeah, I see how that may be true for his generation, but everyone in my generation has been super nice so far.

My charedi cousin wrote back to my email telling her about me and B:

Wow! you've been busy!!
I can't believe that you are engaged (nope, your parents def. did not say a word to mine or anyone else in the fam cuz i'm sure we would have heard something) I had no idea, what a surprise.
Its so sad that we won't be by your wedding. Its probably hard not to have your parents attend the wedding.
Is D gonna coming, E, or just friends from *city I live in* (i mean 15 people and all?)

[Stuff about how she is pregnant again and is due any day/her husband graduating/etc]

Of course we will look you up when we are backpacking across the country...we don't know anyone else is *city*!!!! The trip to Europe sounds cool--I guess a small wedding allows you to save up money.
So...What does B do? are his folks nice? (nice enough to take you on a trip to europe!) What does his parents think about a jewish gal? Did he grow up with any religion or were his parents also atheist?

Anyways, the dog looks really cute!! I hope it works out (even though I am completely terrified of all animals, but is still looks cute). send pictures of all you guys. I'll keep u updated on the birth (god willing) and any other exciting news.

[Stuff about all her brothers and sisters and their news]

Thats the scoop here!

take it easy!

=) *Cousin*



  1. Yay! What an awesome letter! :-)

  2. The phrase "pleasantly surprised" must keep coming to your mind.

  3. I know, it's like I've been so brainwashed by my parents to think that everything I do is SO AWFUL IN THE EYES OF RELIGIOUS PEOPLE that my religious family will FOR SURE reject me. So every time they don't reject me, I'm surprised.

    In conclusion, I think I have crappy parents. But how does one objectively measure that? They didn't beat me or anything...

  4. On the crappy parents scale, your parents did try to brainwash you, then make you feel guilty when the brainwashing didn't take. But you escaped! Anyway, there's no point in measuring this - just run like the wind!

  5. Interesting blog. I'm glad things are working out for you better than expected. My mother says (only half joking) if I don't plan to marry in the Catholic Church I can't get get married until my über Catholic grandmother dies. She says telling my grandmother I'm an atheist would probably cause her to die from shock.

  6. Wow. That's great news. But how could that attitude arise from a Haredi upbringing? If her husband is graduating from an institution of higher education, she can't be that Haredi after all.

  7. Tamim- My cousin's are definitely charedi, black hats and all. But their parents strongly believe in Torah Umadah. Their dad is a doctor, and the boys in that family have all gone into medicine, law, or accounting, and the girls have gone into occupational or physical therapy.

    The guys all sat in yeshiva and somehow got a bunch of credits from that for college, took real college classes part time in between learning, and then went on to graduate school. Her husband is graduating from law school.

    And plenty of charedi people go to college. It IS possible to be charedi without being ignorant and uneducated.

  8. Well it could be that your cousin would react exactely the same way as your parents if it were her child. But you are not her child...

  9. shoshi took the words right out of my mouth...

    your relatives may not feel "betrayed" as your parents do.

    i hope that with time your parents will come around. and if they don't, well we all have one or two relatives that we've cut out of our lives :-) (my husband hasnt spoken to his grandmother in 8 yrs)


  10. They don't have to have beat you to be bad parents.

    I'm glad the rest of your family seems to have your back.


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