last night I did something to my back...not sure what. Basically, I turned sideways, my back cracked a bit (like normal) and a minute later I was writhing on the floor in pain. Possibly the worse pain I have ever felt.
So bad that I
a. thought I was going to throw up and crawled to the bathroom so I could writhe on the floor there in front of the toilet, where I sat sobbing from the pain for approximately an hour and
b. while sobbing and writhing had a serious debate with B over whether we could afford the $50 copay (plus whatever other bullshit fees will come up) that is required to go to the emergency room. I was pretty sure at one point that my kidney had exploded, since it hurt that bad.
In the end B helped by bringing me hot towels to put on my back while I lay on the bathroom floor, I took a pretty strong painkiller we had lying around from previous hurts, and we decided if I was still in bad pain this morning when it wore off, B was drop me off at student health on his way to work. This morning it still hurts, but only a bit, so I'm forgoing even that.
But man. That freaking hurt. Is this what happens when you start getting older?
In other news, I really love ms moon's latest post about her views of religion and god. I especially liked this part:
it reminds me of a group I used to go to of sexual abuse survivors and so many of the women gave god the glory for their ability to heal and go on with their lives, making sure that the chain of abuse had been broken in their families and I always wanted to shout at them, "Give yourself the credit! You're the one who did it! You're the one doing it! Not god. And by the way, where was god when you were a little child being abused?"